"to be sucessful and make something of myself" - Life Goals Essay

Hi,

Im having some trouble with my essay on life goals. I have three paragraphs so far but im not sure if they are on topic or not. Here is what i have written so far.

Many people rarely sit down and think about their life goals. Some people say this might be a hard task to do and that is why many people get off track. In my opinion, there are many achievements people want to achieve if they sit down and really thought about it. One of my life goals as well as mostly everyone else's is to be sucessful and make something of myself. Another one of my life goals is to graduatehigh school with the most knowledge of my ability possible. Lastly, I would like to be accepted to a good college that focuses on my career. With this there comes hard work and most of the time mistakes too.

There are many things I want to achieve in life. One of them are to be sucessful and make something of myself. To accomplish these goals comes with a lot. I have to reall want it and work hard. I have something that I call a task board, which helps me remind myself about the things I want in life. When I start to give up I just look at my board and push myself.

I plan to graduate high school with the highest G.P.A that I can achieve and be proud of. To keep myself focused I feel I need to have determination, confidence, and perserverance. It is important to me because without it I will not be able to get to the college I would like to go to.

graduatehigh graduate high

most knowledge of my ability possible most knowledge i could possible contain

Red is my comments or what I added. Bold is what I've taken away.

Many people rarely sit down and think about their life goals. I don't think this is true, I think there are plenty of people out there who think about their life goals. Some people say " this might be a hard task to dois too hard." and that is why many people get off track. In my opinion, there are many achievements people want to achieve if they sit down and really thought about it. Kind of an awkward sentence, take out at least one achieve, it sounds redundant to have it in there twice. One of my life goals as well as mostly everyone else's is to be sucessfulsuccessful and make something of myself. Another one of my life goals is to graduatehigh school with the most knowledge of my ability possible. What antdance011 said. Lastly, I would like to be accepted to a good college that focuses on my career. I understand With this there comes hard work and most of the time mistakes, too.

There are many things I want to achieve in life. One of them are to be sucessfulsuccessful and make something of myself. To accomplish these goals comes with a lot. Of what...? You didn't finish your sentence! :) I have to really want it and work hard. I have something that I call a task board, which helps me remind myself about the things I want in life. When I start to give up I just look at my board and push myself.

I plan to graduate high school with the highest G.P.A that I can achieve and be proud of it . To keep myself focused I feel I need to have determination, confidence, and perserveranceperseverance . It is important to me because without it I will not be able to get to the college I would like to go to.

It's good so far. Maybe try to be more specific with what goals you want. For example, what college do you want to go to and why you are willing to try harder to achieve your goals than most?

I like the fundamental base of your essay, but maybe you can make it more personalized by discussing specific goals that you wish to succeed in. Adding just these few details may show that you are a unique individual who would pursue the broad definition of "success," and demonstrated that you are more motivated by established aspirations.

Anyways, great job!

I would start with most, not many! Other than that, I like the idea of your essay. (: