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"summarize one's whole life" - My philosophy teacher influenced me



sina 3 / 6  
Dec 31, 2010   #1
I really need help!Please tell me what you think about this essay:
Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

"This year is the year of Leaves rustle, snow peace and desert freshness! Let's share this happiness." This is the first thing I heard from him in the class. He is an old tall man with white long hair, Mr. Ahmadi.

He is my philosophy teacher and our class is once each week. He doesn't believe that it's a classroom; he thinks it is the friends' circle. But I know that he is more than a friend.

He tells his own thoughts in the class and expects us to say our own ideas instead of things we have memorized from books. He usually asks instead of answering and believes that we should be like Socrates; asking a question isn't a fault while answering without knowledge is. I've learned from him that great questions we can ask are more than thorough answers we can find.

He often reviews the past philosopher's achievements or their today's baffles. "But more than these, he has taught us how to think. He said once: "philosophy is thinking of ideas." I've learned in his class, how to contemplate deeply and accurate, and I found only one way for this: you should "start" thinking.

One day, we were asked to answer: "how can we summarize one's whole life?" We had different answers, but Mr. Ahmadi didn't accept them and said: "I want a more valuable way!" He told us: "Each person will just leave one thing after his death, and we can recognize the person with it; that is his or her beliefs and opinions." Then he left the class!

Mr. Ahmadi has surely altered my lifestyle; I have understood that we are more than some usual creatures. Human is a combination of thoughts and beliefs, to have an immortal name in the human history, we need to have eternal beliefs.

dannaliano - / 5  
Dec 31, 2010   #2
it's way too short for the common app essay.
phil_hah 4 / 4  
Dec 31, 2010   #3
"This year is the year of Leaves rustle, snow peace and desert freshness! Let's share this happiness." This is the first thing I heard from him in the class. He is an old, tall man with white long hair,named Mr. Ahmadi.

He is my philosophy teacher and our class is held once each week. He doesn't believe that it's a classroom; he thinks it is the friends' circle. But I know that he is more than a friend.

These are just a few of the many errors that fill this essay. The topic is a little generic too. Also, I agree that it's a little too short. Sorry if I come off too harsh; I'm just trying to help.
OP sina 3 / 6  
Dec 31, 2010   #4
Thanks. Would you please tell me the other errors too!


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