So greetings everyone, new to the site and dont really know how this works, but here goes: I want to go to this summer camp and they make you write an essay on why you want to attend the program, as the title states. I am not a native english speaker and not very sure about how I should write such an essay as I havent written any like it in the past. I would greatly appreciate some help and corrections ofcourse are always welcome. The essay needs to be 500-750 words, I'm at about 670. So this is the essay:
"Ever since I was a kid even, I have always been positive and seeking to try new experiences, understanding that through those there is always something to gain, and even if the outcome is not what expected, one learns exactly this, that things don't always go as planned in life. At some point in middle school, we started biology courses. Although what we learned was pretty basic, every kid in my class hated the course, as they found the curriculum hard, but I swallowed the chapters and the lectures enthusiastic to learn more. By attending a privileged school, as I did, I had the opportunity to enjoy lessons possibly of the highest level in the country. As time went on, more and more did I realize what I felt I was meant to do. I decided this is the path for me, and combined with my love for the USA, which will be mentioned later on, I was firmly attached to the idea of studying medicine there.
By attending this course, I opt to subject myself a whole new level of tutoring, because, as previously stated, I am still thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Moreover, this course will help me clear up my mind about which more specific field I want to follow, major in, and hopefully achieve my final goal, a Ph.D. in it, as still, despite inclining towards medicine, it is not clear to me what I want to specialize in. Furthermore, I believe it will be a good "trial period" for college, getting to know what college life and classes are like, learning to cope with the way it works, which I expect will be fairly different from the Greek schools.
Now I would like to look at another aspect of why I would like to attend this camp. I have always found the USA to be the country I dream to live in. I was born in New Jersey, both my parents Greek students with Greek roots doing their Master's degrees together in the USA, and so when they had me, they felt I shouldn't be raised away from the rest of my family, and within a year from when I was born we returned back to Greece. We returned to the USA many times as tourists, and visited cities like New York, Chicago, New Orleans etc.. Despite loving each and every one of those cities, I felt like I couldn't live in any of them, they didn't suit me. Until I came to Boston.
It all started when my father, a surgeon himself, took me with him to a conference in Boston. After arriving and unpacking, we went out to see the city. I was shocked. It seemed to me this city was nothing like any other that I had previously visited. I was so excited, I had finally found a city I would be happy with living in. In Boston I felt the city warm and welcoming. This experience led me to set my target straight for this city's universities, and thus I found this camp online.
As it might be already clear, the two courses from this summer program that I find most appealing are Chemistry of Medicine and Infectious Diseases. When first looking at the courses list, as soon as I went through the list and saw the whole selection, right away I decided on these two. From what I read and what I understood about them, those are the ones that best fit the future I have chosen for myself.
Summarizing, the reasons I want to attend this summer program are firstly, that I want to expand my horizons while also narrowing down the selection of majors I would like to do in the future and get a better, clearer picture of my goals, and secondly, that I have always loved the USA, and Boston even more, and that attending this course will help me visualize what studying medicine in the USA will be like and how to, one day, hopefully, be a better scientist."
Before any replying, let me explain what I tried to do with this: I wanted to give a very firm impression of how I have proffesional interest in attending the course, while also getting across that one day I intend to study in a university like the one the camp is in and that its pretty helpful for me to attend this camp. Also, I wanted to get my obsession with the USA through and my love for Boston, where the camp takes place.
I do acknowledge I am a chatterbox and provide more information than needed most of the time, and I tried to limit that in this essay, although I dont think I succeeded.
Also my writing structure is pretty bad, I am very very bad at organizing my thoughts, and I do know that to and I'm working towards correcting it.
"Ever since I was a kid even, I have always been positive and seeking to try new experiences, understanding that through those there is always something to gain, and even if the outcome is not what expected, one learns exactly this, that things don't always go as planned in life. At some point in middle school, we started biology courses. Although what we learned was pretty basic, every kid in my class hated the course, as they found the curriculum hard, but I swallowed the chapters and the lectures enthusiastic to learn more. By attending a privileged school, as I did, I had the opportunity to enjoy lessons possibly of the highest level in the country. As time went on, more and more did I realize what I felt I was meant to do. I decided this is the path for me, and combined with my love for the USA, which will be mentioned later on, I was firmly attached to the idea of studying medicine there.
By attending this course, I opt to subject myself a whole new level of tutoring, because, as previously stated, I am still thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Moreover, this course will help me clear up my mind about which more specific field I want to follow, major in, and hopefully achieve my final goal, a Ph.D. in it, as still, despite inclining towards medicine, it is not clear to me what I want to specialize in. Furthermore, I believe it will be a good "trial period" for college, getting to know what college life and classes are like, learning to cope with the way it works, which I expect will be fairly different from the Greek schools.
Now I would like to look at another aspect of why I would like to attend this camp. I have always found the USA to be the country I dream to live in. I was born in New Jersey, both my parents Greek students with Greek roots doing their Master's degrees together in the USA, and so when they had me, they felt I shouldn't be raised away from the rest of my family, and within a year from when I was born we returned back to Greece. We returned to the USA many times as tourists, and visited cities like New York, Chicago, New Orleans etc.. Despite loving each and every one of those cities, I felt like I couldn't live in any of them, they didn't suit me. Until I came to Boston.
It all started when my father, a surgeon himself, took me with him to a conference in Boston. After arriving and unpacking, we went out to see the city. I was shocked. It seemed to me this city was nothing like any other that I had previously visited. I was so excited, I had finally found a city I would be happy with living in. In Boston I felt the city warm and welcoming. This experience led me to set my target straight for this city's universities, and thus I found this camp online.
As it might be already clear, the two courses from this summer program that I find most appealing are Chemistry of Medicine and Infectious Diseases. When first looking at the courses list, as soon as I went through the list and saw the whole selection, right away I decided on these two. From what I read and what I understood about them, those are the ones that best fit the future I have chosen for myself.
Summarizing, the reasons I want to attend this summer program are firstly, that I want to expand my horizons while also narrowing down the selection of majors I would like to do in the future and get a better, clearer picture of my goals, and secondly, that I have always loved the USA, and Boston even more, and that attending this course will help me visualize what studying medicine in the USA will be like and how to, one day, hopefully, be a better scientist."
Before any replying, let me explain what I tried to do with this: I wanted to give a very firm impression of how I have proffesional interest in attending the course, while also getting across that one day I intend to study in a university like the one the camp is in and that its pretty helpful for me to attend this camp. Also, I wanted to get my obsession with the USA through and my love for Boston, where the camp takes place.
I do acknowledge I am a chatterbox and provide more information than needed most of the time, and I tried to limit that in this essay, although I dont think I succeeded.
Also my writing structure is pretty bad, I am very very bad at organizing my thoughts, and I do know that to and I'm working towards correcting it.
