Prompt: Describe the world you come from and how it shaped you.
When I looked into the mirror I saw a small girl with bushy hair wearing a purple blouse, jeans, and black ballet flats, sporting a nervous smile. This was the day. The day I had waited years for. This was the first day that I would attend Nevada Union High School and I was ready, or so I thought.
My first day of high school was not the glorious and much anticipated adventure I was expecting. On the contrary, it was overwhelming, loud and intimidating. I walked the hallways searching for a friendly face and being, for the most part disappointed, but the moment I walked into the Dance Room I found not one friendly face but thirty.
From the time I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be in the dance program at Nevada Union. I looked at those beautiful dancers and did not see acne-ridden teenagers struggling to learn Trigonometry instead I saw superheroes. I watched in awe as the dancers took flight across the stage, wishing with all my might that someday it would be me on that stage. As my first day of high school ended, and I stepped through the doors of the Dance room I realized just how close I was to my childhood dream. What I did not realize was just how many rehearsal hours it would take to get there, but when it was finally time to step onstage there was no greater feeling. My legs propelled me across the stage with a joyful anticipation that had been years in the making. I was convinced in that moment that there could be no greater feeling, but I was wrong. The greatest feeling was looking into the elated faces of the audience and knowing that now I was someone's superhero. I would not trade that feeling for anything in the world, but in truth being in the dance program gave me something even better. Somehow between learning a seemingly endless supply of new dances and desperately trying to finish my schoolwork, thirty friendly faces became my family.
Looking back on my time in the dance program I am eternally grateful. Amidst those long rehearsals I learned about dedication, commitment, and the importance of time management. These are skills that have served me not only in dance but in my academic course work as well. The dance program at Nevada Union has also enabled me to choreograph my own pieces, to teach beginning dancers, and above all to find the confidence in myself that I so desperately lacked on that first day of high school.
When I first walked into the dance room, I saw mirrors, ballet barres, a stereo, and thirty friendly faces. Now I see my fondest memories of high school, my best friends, and the exciting truth that no matter what I do in the future the lessons I have learned in the dance room about commitment, discipline, and hard-work will always guide me along the path to success.
While I LOVE this essay, I'm just not sure it fully responds to the prompt. Maybe you could write more about how ballet has shaped you personally? How has it stretched you? Could you expand on how it raised your confidence? Something like that, anyway. :-)
That being said, I love your writing style. It's personal and friendly and makes me want to get to know you better. Good luck with the admissions process!
