I was supposed to write an essay about my identity and use a picture of myself..

When you stare at the picture long enough you can see the sadness behind the smile; it has always been so comforting to hide behind. If you quickly glance you can spot my messy dark brown hair and tan skin, these are simple known facts. The aspect of this picture that is more complicated is not what I look like but how others perceive me. Other's perception of me does in fact, shape who I am. It affects my behavior and my personality because since I was a little girl other's opinions have been my top priority. People usually say I'm quiet, calm, easy-going, and nonchalant about everything but I don't want to be those things at all. The more I hear "quiet" and "shy" the more I try to change myself, the more I dread my identity and personality. Others have influenced one major belief of myself: I will never be good enough. The people in my life haven't caused me pain in my perception but I have. No one put these horrible conflicting emotions and thoughts inside my mind. Nobody but me. I haven't been one to take risks because I fear rejection from others, absolutely fear it. I crave reassurance. I have experienced rejection like being picked last or not having a partner for a group project but that's not enough to form such insecure thoughts is it? On the surface I am seen as young student trying to make an impact. I'm a varsity athlete, AP honor student from a Mexican middle-class family. My ethnicity impacts how I am perceived because even prestigious colleges look down on me because of it. People see my letterman jacket and skin color and immediately two things pop in their head: minority and athlete. Being Mexican has not impacted me harshly because I can't change my families' heritage without being a liar but my shyness has caused some conflict. Girls especially mistake my quiet demeanor as being unfriendly and rude and maybe even a bit mean. It makes me feel horrible about myself because I know how it feels to be unwelcome and I never purposely wanted someone to feel that way. The way I am perceived causes me pain but also much happiness. Tiny compliments lift my day and make me proud of how I am perceived in this large, confusing world.

Hello,

So my advice to you would be to read this essay again. However, this time, read it as though you were someone else. What would that person learn about you that they did not know before reading this? If your answer is absolutely nothing -- like in this case-- then your response is of no use to the reader. The entire goal here is to learn something about you. -Admissions Advice Online

daydreamer08
so you feel worry about rejection all the time? well, if you always take all people's opinion whether it is bad or good, your life will never be in peace. because people are always be a critical toward others. why you always say that you are not good enough or even think to change yourself? if you think that way, you'll change yourself everytime you meet new peoples. please, just love yourself and your life. if you're over-thinking about other's perspective about you, just listen Lady Gaga's I was Born This Way.

cheer up and love yourself ;)

The overall component really flowed well, especially how you transitioned into speaking about how your background also influences your ability to be shy at times. The only thing I would suggest (maybe it's not that big of a deal) is to maybe give a couple examples on why you also feel happy about how others perceive you. Also, earlier in your response you mentioned


then you said


. I think you should clarify on that a little.

Awesome job overall! :)