Good evening :)
A SOP is a detailed description of the career the applicant intends to pursue after graduation, or a brief and focused essay about one's career or research goals. I'm not sure that this really fits that criteria. While your piece is very intriguing, it contains a lot of expressionistic phrasing, making it not so brief or focused. For example, how does the first statement and the following paragraph describe the career you want to pursue once you graduate, your career, or research goals. If it doesn't fit into those categories, it should be removed.
The SOP is just that; a statement. It should be clear, concise, and to the point. It really isn't the appropriate place for much creative writing material. Keep the focus and purpose of the statement of purpose in mind when writing, and you'll be fine.
Hope this helps!