Do you surf or tinker? Are you a vegetarian poet who loves Ayn Rand? Personal Expression

Self-identity and personal expression take many forms. For example, music, clothing, politics, extracurricular interests, and ethnicity can each be a defining attribute. Do you surf or tinker? Are you a vegetarian poet who loves Ayn Rand? Do you prefer YouTube or test tubes? Are you preppie or Goth? Use the richness of your life to give us insight: what voice will you add to the Class of 2014?

Tufts Supplement

(Incredibly rough first draft.)

While black is certainly slimming, I can't say it's the most exciting color to wear. As an artist, I probably shouldn't even be calling it a color. I prefer the color of the ocean, or that of the paintings hanging on my walls. Whether we're talking about my personality, my art, my interests or my wardrobe, I am certainly colorful. I'm outgoing, loud and friendly. I enjoy drawing portraits, making comics and painting skyscapes. I love to sing, pop bubble wrap and eat weird food. I wear at least four colors every day, love scarves and weird jewelry, and am never complete without my iPod. Some could call me confused, but I consider myself as a person of many passions.

In this age of color photographs, I consider it a necessity to bring color into the lives of others around me, whether literally or metaphorically speaking. I want to be somebody that creates something meaningful and memorable that touches people. Black is out, colors are in.

Thank you for reading!

I like the idea, and overall it creates a good impression

i think that you should go for something different as the intro:
- While black is certainly slimming, I can't say it's the most exciting color to wear. As an artist, I probably shouldn't even be calling it a color. I prefer the color of the ocean, or that of the paintings hanging on my walls.

-it's kind of random- doesnt say anything about you, so just go into talking about how youre colorful!
-add more about your personality

hope i helped!!!

could you pretty please look at mine? its short (youth and government intellectual vitality PLEASE HELP)

Thanks for the help! I just finished reading your essay. Good luck!

I really like your essay. I think the intro is fine and it draws the reader in. From the first sentence, I did not know what to expect, but I really enjoyed it.

Here is my new draft:

Whether we're talking about my personality, my art, my interests or my wardrobe, I am certainly colorful. I'm outgoing, loud and friendly. I enjoy drawing portraits, making comics and painting skyscapes. I love to sing, pop bubble wrap and eat weird food. I wear at least four colors every day, love scarves and weird jewelry, and am never complete without my iPod. Some could call me confused, but I consider myself as a person of many passions.

I want to be somebody that creates something meaningful and memorable that touches people. Often, my empathetic and stubborn personality has pushed me to reach out to people and infuse their life with a bit of happiness or color through my humor, my music and my art. In this age of color photographs, I consider it a necessity to bring color into the lives of others around me, whether literally or metaphorically speaking. Black is out, and colors are in.