Essay topic: If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
Essay itself: When looking back at my life, as of right now, I noticed that not everything has been handed to me; in fact I have had to strive to achieve the best possible goals in most situations. "The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it" was once said by a man named Molière. This saying holds true to my heart because I know what exactly he is trying to say. When I was in elementary school my teachers never really cared about me, they wanted to send me to a school for kids that were mentally disabled. At the time my parents just split up, my dad living in New York and my mom living in Florida. That is when I moved down to Florida to live with my mom. The change was difficult, but it was the least of my worries. I was still in school and still having trouble with my grades. I even remember my brother saying to me one day in the car "you aren't going to go anywhere in life". This is when I knew I had to prove everyone wrong. My mom enrolled me into Sylvan learning center which helped me learn how to pace my work and taught me new ways of learning. I had to work extremely hard to get to where I am now, and achieve as much as I have so far. This obstacle has formulated the person I am today because I would most likely not even be applying to the University of Central Florida right now.
Questions: What can I fix to make the essay better? Could anyone fix any grammar mistakes that you see?
Essay itself: When looking back at my life, as of right now, I noticed that not everything has been handed to me; in fact I have had to strive to achieve the best possible goals in most situations. "The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it" was once said by a man named Molière. This saying holds true to my heart because I know what exactly he is trying to say. When I was in elementary school my teachers never really cared about me, they wanted to send me to a school for kids that were mentally disabled. At the time my parents just split up, my dad living in New York and my mom living in Florida. That is when I moved down to Florida to live with my mom. The change was difficult, but it was the least of my worries. I was still in school and still having trouble with my grades. I even remember my brother saying to me one day in the car "you aren't going to go anywhere in life". This is when I knew I had to prove everyone wrong. My mom enrolled me into Sylvan learning center which helped me learn how to pace my work and taught me new ways of learning. I had to work extremely hard to get to where I am now, and achieve as much as I have so far. This obstacle has formulated the person I am today because I would most likely not even be applying to the University of Central Florida right now.
Questions: What can I fix to make the essay better? Could anyone fix any grammar mistakes that you see?
