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Technology, community, lack of communication in my hometown - change



riny 13 / 25  
Nov 28, 2010   #1
This is one of IELTS writing task.

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

In recent years, a lack of communication between people has been a significant issue in modern society. It is certainly true of my home town. In this essay, several reasons of the phenomenon and solutions will be discussed.

One of the biggest reasons is that people has lost their opportunities to interact with neighbours. There used to be various kinds of local communities few decades ago, however, less and less people participate in these communities because they are busy for work and study in a recent hectic society.

The development of technology also has lead to little relationship in the society. While people tend to spend more time at home by internet surfing, the conventional method of 'communication' is losing its importance.

A lack of connection within the community units may significantly influence the society. In fact, an increase in the amount of crime in my hometown is now one of the vital issues and many of them seem to be solved by the improvement of local communities.

To solve the issues, the local counsel should provide more practical community supports for citizens so that people can gather frequently to exchange their information. It is also important to have special occasions such as local festivals, meetings and educational classes in order to enhance person's quality of life too.

In conclusion, even though there are some issues of a lack of communication between people in my hometown, the problems can be solved by enhancement of community supports.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 2, 2010   #2
In recent years, a lack of communication between people has been a significant issue in modern societyies .

ItThis fact is certainlytruevery validforof my home town.

In this essay, several reasons of the phenomenon and solutions will be discussed.-----This sentence sounds a bit abrupt and unfriendly. It is better that you use direct speech rather than indirect in order to convey your ideas to the reader more effectively. For example;

I wish to discuss the reasons for this issue and the soultions to overcome this problem in the following paragraphs;

One of the biggest reasons is that people has lost their opportunities to interact with neighbours.-----------good point

There used to be various kinds of local communities few decades ago, however, less and less people participate in these communities because they are busy forwith work and study in a recent hectic society.------- community refers to " a group of people". Therefore, in my view, the part in red sounds improper. You can say "community gatherings".

The development of technology also,too, has lead led to littleweaken human relationships in the society.


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