Hi guys, this is an essay for colgate university Please, evaluate it. Any comment is appreciated. (250 words max)
3-
What are three words that your best friend would use to describe you and why?
Out of all the pieces of the words, I believe adamantly that my best friend will describe me in these three words: tenacity, humility, and responsibility. Frankly, these words completely depict a holistic picture of my own life; and this can be spotlighted from three obvious situations.
First of all, when I was first-year student in STEM school, I got abominable grades in the first semester even though I was doing my best. Consequently, I asked a sophomore about the strategies and the references he used to pass with high grades. It was tough to jump from "B" score to "B+" in one semester. But according to the spirit of perseverance and unaccepting of the failure, I did it.
Secondly, when I was in the garment campaign to provide the poor people with cloths to their children, I was an OC with some other mates. It was extremely appealing to incorporate in such charity work. My role was to show them the pieces of cloths and, without exaggeration, the picturesque thing on them. I wasn't arrogant with any of them and even I took with them souvenir photos.
Lastly, when my father died in 2007, I was young but my role was essential and indispensable. I was working in pharmacy with my pal, bishoy, who has the same circumstances; I was responsible for cleaning the floor and he was arranging the medicines. The money I get were always and undoubtedly go to the budget of the home for helping.
3-
We want to get to know you better.
What are three words that your best friend would use to describe you and why?
Out of all the pieces of the words, I believe adamantly that my best friend will describe me in these three words: tenacity, humility, and responsibility. Frankly, these words completely depict a holistic picture of my own life; and this can be spotlighted from three obvious situations.
First of all, when I was first-year student in STEM school, I got abominable grades in the first semester even though I was doing my best. Consequently, I asked a sophomore about the strategies and the references he used to pass with high grades. It was tough to jump from "B" score to "B+" in one semester. But according to the spirit of perseverance and unaccepting of the failure, I did it.
Secondly, when I was in the garment campaign to provide the poor people with cloths to their children, I was an OC with some other mates. It was extremely appealing to incorporate in such charity work. My role was to show them the pieces of cloths and, without exaggeration, the picturesque thing on them. I wasn't arrogant with any of them and even I took with them souvenir photos.
Lastly, when my father died in 2007, I was young but my role was essential and indispensable. I was working in pharmacy with my pal, bishoy, who has the same circumstances; I was responsible for cleaning the floor and he was arranging the medicines. The money I get were always and undoubtedly go to the budget of the home for helping.