Tennis: On and Off the Court (an extracurricular activity essay)

Hi, do you think anyone could give me some feedback on my 250 word describe an extracurricular activity essay? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

P.S. I have also posted my common app essay "Food for Thought" and was wondering if anyone could comment on that as well. Thanks again!

For the past seven years, tennis has been my passion. Learning the game and developing my skills were important, but nothing equaled the life lessons I acquired through playing. I practiced constantly, seeking to improve. The long hours and my desire to succeed paid off for I am now my team's captain and first singles player. I have learned to apply this same diligence during matches, understanding that winning is usually the result of effort and desire. As captain, I demonstrate my leadership abilities and try to inspire my teammates to have the same passion I feel. Through competition, I have developed a greater sense of camaraderie. I have had the opportunity to meet new people, whether they are experienced forty-year olds or up-and-coming four year olds. Tennis is more than a sport; it depicts real life and the qualities necessary to succeed off the court.

hey just something i spotted

As captain, I demonstrate my leadership abilities and try to inspire my teammates to have the same passion I feel.

this sentence is present tense instead of past tense?
depends on what your trying to achieve i guess

Thanks. Tense is tricky here only because I am captain and still am so I thought it would be better to keep it present tense. Did you think the overall quality was ok though?

yeah its pretty good I just think it can be a bit easily confusing with all the sudden tense changes or maybe its just me

just a small thing As a captain

and maybe in that sentence you could apply the continuing present tense instead?

I continue to demonstrate my leadership...

like something along those lines
I just think going from past tense straght to present tense might make the admission guys think that you made a mistake and didn't correct it sort of. I hope I'm making sense with this but I just think that sentence tripped me over.

Yeah your suggestions make sense, I think it's just a weird sentence I guess. I'm still debating whether or not to change it. Thanks, though.

Good tight essay, could find no errors. I liked this sentence;I have had the opportunity to meet new people, whether they are experienced forty-year olds or up-and-coming four year olds.

:)

Kevin

This advice about the tense... it really is okay either way, but generally it is better quality if you keep the tense specific. I like to add IMMEDIACY to my writing by writing everything in the present tense.

For this essay, I think it would be best to show them that you understand about tense consistency by changing that sentence to the past tense.

Overall quality is great!!!

Thanks, I will change the tense.