As a Texas A&M student I'll have the chance to achieve the goals that I set for myself.

Texas A&M Engineering Question

I grew up in a family that my Father happens to be an engineer. And ever since I was little, I get the chance to see some of the interesting things that my Father and his engineering team had done or helped created. Recently, { I will talk about my dad's recent project }. Seeing how my Father is able to play a role in this modern technological movement as an engineer really motivates me to strive to pursue a career in the engineering field. On top of that, my Father, including his engineer colleagues, often has the opportunity to travel around the world while working. And as a bilingual and traveling enthusiast, I definitely have a lot to offer and would love to travel to different places as a part of my job.

I want to pursue a career in computer engineering, because I saw not only what my Father is able to accomplish but also some of the technological breakthroughs in the past couple of years. From the fingerprint security feature on Apple smartphones to the newest Amazon supermarket, it really amazes me how rapidly the technology has evolved (grown??) in recent years.

My goal is to come up with innovative ideas while implementing past successful techniques used by professionals. There is no doubt that a career in the engineering field will bring some of the most difficult obstacles that I will ever face, but to me, this is something that I look forward to in my life. After all, challenges and failures are ways for us to grow. And as a Texas A&M student, I believe that I will be guided by engineering experts and have the chance to achieve the goals that I set for myself.

It is good that you are inspired by your father, but It seems that you want to follow your father's steps and have his life. What about writing something you want to do different? Something you have done by yourself? your abilities, not your father's.

Joey, I am not sure about what sort of essay you are supposed to be writing. You did not provide the prompt requirement for the development of the essay so I am not really sure if this is the way to go. It would appear to the reviewer that your father is the applicant for the student slot and you are writing a recommendation for him based on his skills, abilities, other considerations. I learned very little about who you are and why there is such a heavy focus on your father in this essay. If your father is not the applicant, then he should not be the sole focus of the presentation. Perhaps if I knew what the prompt you are responding to is, I would be able to better direct your essay towards a less father-centric, but still with mentions of your father, in your revised essay. As of now, this is not a good essay. It is confused because it sounds like your father has all the abilities that the student requires and you do not have any of your own solid foundation in relation to your course of interest.

@Holt
Sorry! Below is the prompt.

Describe your academic and career goals in the broad field of engineering (including computer science, industrial distribution, and engineering technology). What and/or who has influenced you either inside or outside the classroom that contributed to these goals?