What are the things most crucial to you and why?

What is important to you? And why? (Maximum 250 words)

UBC Personal Profile

There were times where I could not figure out a sense of purpose or direction of my life. These feelings stole my optimism, and left me frustrated. This is when personal growth that I felt was lacking became incredibly important to me along with seeing the evidence of that growth. I define personal growth as someone who chooses to constantly improve themselves and learn in order to become the best version of themselves. I have always kept every writing assignment, and I will be keeping an extra copy of this personal profile as well, because seeing proof of progress and improvement, is a great satisfaction and motivation to keep trying to be better. I started writing down experiences, thoughts and feelings in journals so later on in my life I can reflect and see what exactly made me who I am, and how much have I improved as an individual. Have I changed for the better? Or am I making similar mistakes? This self development is something I value because I want to prevent myself from falling into a life where all I care about is being successful rather than being passionate and trying to strive for excellence. I hope one day my personal growth leads me to where I have made positive contribution to society no matter how small. There is no definite definition for the purpose of life, but if we continuously and consciously grow I believe we will have a clearer view on our role in life.

Warisha, this is a very impressive response that is only marred by one slight lightweight example that derailed the reading of your essay for a bit. If you would kindly remove the reference to keeping your writing assignments and its copies as proof of your improvement, the paper will have a smoother and more personal feel rather than suddenly turning academic then working it back to a personal note. There is a loss of attention on the part of the reader when that happens and it is difficult to refocus on the personal aspect of your personal growth when that happens. In order to retain the attention of the reader on the important personal growth discussion, remove the reference to the academic paper work. The personal journal story, observations, analysis, and self-evident growth makes the essay a more interesting and stronger read. The emotional connection in not broken in that instance, which leads to a strong finish for your response.

@Holt
I just want to make sure, you would like me to remove this line:
I have always kept every writing assignment, and I will be keeping an extra copy of this personal profile as well, because seeing proof of progress and improvement, is a great satisfaction and motivation to keep trying to be better.

Also thank you so much for your feedback.

Hi Warisha, I also agree this is a very impressive writing. The only thing I would improve is the second sentence. It took me three times to completely understand it. I personally would rewrite it to be easier to read:

This is when I felt my personal growth that I felt ... important to me along with ... of that growth was lacking.

Since your first sentence has demonstrated its importance, it might be unnecessary to keep became incredibly important.

@zy16373
Thank you for your feedback.

Warisha, this is certainly a thoughtful and insightful response (congratulations!).
In order to give a more personal angle to your essay, I suggest you to mention an experience that reflects your desire for self-development.
I wish you the best of luck!

hello warisha,
i agree strongly with isabella, recounting an experience that reflects your desire for personal growth will help strengthen your essay..
cheers!