Here are some things I want you to know; Stanford Supplement--roommate

I am not quite sure whether it is alright to write in this way... I hope for any suggestions!

Dear my roommate,

I have gone to a Japanese anime exhibition, so here are some things I want you to know:

1. Please do not tear down the posters on my wall. I brought them from China, and it is really a long journey. (They are from Gintama, Clannad, Vampire Knight Guilty, and Bleach)

2. If I say something weird and you cannot understand, that is neither a mistake of my pronunciation nor Chinese. That must be Japanese. But I am not a crazy anime fan-I will not point at something all of a sudden and shout: "shin ji tsu wa i tsu mo hi to tsu!"(There is only one truth, from the Detective Conan)

3. If you are a partygoer, I can go to parties with you. But, you should also come with me when I go to an anime exhibition. (Well, forget this time.)

4. If I do not get up and there are classes early in the morning, please make any attempts to wake me up. (I must have been watching too much anime last night.)

5. You can bring alcohol to the room, but do not share it with the fat cat (alright, the stuffed toy) on my bed. It loves to drink but is easily drunk. (The cat is from Natsume Yuujinchou)

6. If one day you find a person with strange clothes in the room, don't be afraid. That is my cosplay (costume play).

7. If you cannot find me on Tuesdays after class, don't worry! I must be attending the meeting of Stanford Newtype anime club.

8. Please listen to me carefully and patiently when I tell you how magnificent anime is. For example, you will hear me saying that one's growth is unpredictable and infinite (from Hitman Reborn), that the greatest victim of a war is the civilians (from Grave of the Fireflies), and that if we immoderately damage the Earth, its punishment will be cruel and ruthless (from Princess Mononoke).

9. Nice to meet you!

Your roommate,
Belinda

P.S: I'm kidding except the ninth one.

Hey, I would like to give you some suggestions with regard to the letter. I think you should change the structure and organization of the letter. You should ask what you want nicely :))). It is not appropriate to list what you want from your roommate. When you present your requests in this way, one may think you are an arrogant, bossy person who tends to dictate his ideas to others.

I, as a reader, should feel that you are talking to your roommate- Make it like a conversation. Describe your hobbies, interests, etc. and, as I said before, do not list them.

Hope this helps
Ahmad

Honestly, I would be a little concerned to get this letter from a future roommate. You come off a little too fanatical. Also I find the very first point insulting; why would you think I'd rip your posters down?

However, I do like the seventh point and I think admissions like to here how you will be involved on campus.

Thanks for your suggestions!