HI! I'm so nervous because the clock is ticking and the deadline is approaching! Please read and edit my essay!
Prompt: It is three weeks before the start of your freshman year at BU, and you are talking to your new roommate for the first time. Since you are trying to get to know each other, what are a few things you would want to share about who you are?
I was born in January under the Aquarius sign making me one of the oldest students in the BU Class of 2016. As an Aquarius, I am very ambitious. Once I have my eye set on a goal, I never stop trying until I achieve what I want. For example, I have wanted to be a leader among my peers since my freshman year of high school. For three years straight, I went to leadership conferences hosted by the New York District Key Club at Albany, New York, and attended as many charity events as possible to meet people that will someday support me when I ran for a club executive position. And in my third year, I did. I became the Key Club Vice President. I guess the moral of the story is that a title is earned with effort and determination and driven with ambition.
To be honest, I do not have my future mapped out yet. I have fantasized of being the weather woman on television predicting the weekly forecast at 7AM every morning. BU's Professor Susan Walker's TV Journalism class will give me a chance to make that fantasy a reality. Recently, I have been interested in the business management and marketing fields. I love to shop, but I have always wondered what strategies name brand companies use to capture our attention - and money. That is when I decided to enroll into BU's School of Management where I can look forward to the Cross-Functional Core program. I have a lot of interests, but this is why I am here at Boston University where I can explore what I love and figure out which career would I happily wake up to every morning for the next fifty years of my life.
Too many people let life pass them by without truly seeing how beautiful the world really is. Which is why I want to travel the world someday - maybe to South Korea because I enjoy their pop music and culture or maybe to Australia because I have never seen a kangaroo in my life. I was raised in New York City so I cannot imagine myself away from the flashing lights and bustling streets even at 2AM in the morning. I came to Boston hoping to be more independent away from home but still be close enough to my parents in case I ever need advice from them. I hope we can tour Boston, the capital of historic New England. It will be alright if we ever get lost because I love going on adventures; after all, the best things in life are unexpected.
One thing you might not expect is my musical talent. My childhood dream was to become a professional singer. Sometimes, I feel like that is still my dream. Music will always be my passion. I have played the piano since I was seven years old. My most inspirational teacher, Irina Braun, would always compliment the flow of sentiments I put in every piece I played as if the melody drew a story. Irina discovered my talent not only in piano but also in vocal music. She encouraged me to audition for the one of the nation's most talented high schools, LaGuardia Arts. I sang Mariah Carey's "Hero"; the song had a wide range and I practiced repetitive times until I thought I would lose my voice. I was accepted to LaGuardia's vocal music program. However, I knew academics would get me further in life so I declined the offer for one of New York City's most prestigious academic schools, Brooklyn Tech. Although I missed the opportunity to develop my talents, I hope to get a second chance at Boston University to continue my passion for music. I promise you that as my roommate, you will get to hear me sing in the shower every night before we have dinner at the renowned Elephant Walk restaurant.
This is a good essay but I think you should pick one topic and tell about it. BU's roommate essay is a fancy way of saying tell us something we don't already know about you. From this essay the admissions officers are trying to get to know another aspect of you without you directly telling them, they want to know from the conversation with your roommate.
