Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character
Hi guys can you read my essay and give some feedbacks? especially grammar? thx
I have never thought I would give a torn apart birthday card.
I stared at the screen thinking about the last birthday card I gave to my mom last year. It was beautiful. I carefully outlined the card with bright red sharpie. I drew red and white balloons in the background. I used glittered glue to write "HAPPYBIRTH DAY!" boldly at the top of the card. As a finishing touch, I wrote, "happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder" in cursive. I watched my mom giggled like a child. Her entire body shook as she laughed and her eyebrows shaped into a perfect arch twitched. Her long luxuriant hair flowed down to her shoulder. The candle light in the dark illuminated her rosy cheeks and her playful smile. However, I remembered this year will be much different from the last. Although, I was excited to finally meet my mom after 10 months of not seeing her due to hospitalization in Korea, I was nervous to see her physical changes. I will not be able to see her luxuriant hair or her perfect arch eyebrows or her fair skin. I was uncertain if she has the same vibrant spirit that spread joy in our family. I imagined her fragile body, unstable to support her own weight. A delicate leaf that is struggling to stay intact with the branch of the dead tree. Then I stopped my uncontrollable imagination when I began to visualize my mom without any hair.
I well understood that I could never change things that already happened to my life. The unpredictable news about my mom's breast cancer has already taught me valuable lesson that I live in this world and not the other way around. The only option for me is to adapt to the environment and cope with the situation. I refocused on the screen and looked for perfect birthday card design that would make my mom giggle again. I searched for the painting Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci on google and pressed print. I grabbed a stack of color papers that I loaned from my art teacher and began to outline balloons on them. I meticulously glued the printed painting of Mona Lisa on the birthday card and glued the balloons right next to the face of Mona Lisa. I had cut out decorated party hat from the color paper and put it on Mona Lisa's head. With glitter glue, I wrote, "Laughter cures Cancer". I observed my masterpiece with great pride as I peeled off the sticky glue from my fingers.
Then I noticed the party hat was at slight angle. I delicately tried to reposition it. Then I heard a soft, yet intense ripping sound that penetrated my ears. I looked at the ruined card like I have just witnessed or committed a murder. I quickly responded by looking around me trying to understand my situation. I saw countless pieces of paper on the ground and realized I did not have enough resources to make another one.
I remembered myself adapting to situation where my mom was no longer in the house. I supplanted my mom's duty. I began to do dishes, cleaning, cooking, helping my dad pay rent, and other housework. During this time, I have learned that the challenges can be opportunities. I have used the time to rebuild myself. I became more independent, and responsible member of our family. I knew I could turn this ripped birthday card into my advantage. I grabbed a scissor and cut the birthday card into rectangular pieces; I made a puzzle of Mona Lisa.
Hi guys can you read my essay and give some feedbacks? especially grammar? thx
I have never thought I would give a torn apart birthday card.
I stared at the screen thinking about the last birthday card I gave to my mom last year. It was beautiful. I carefully outlined the card with bright red sharpie. I drew red and white balloons in the background. I used glittered glue to write "HAPPYBIRTH DAY!" boldly at the top of the card. As a finishing touch, I wrote, "happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder" in cursive. I watched my mom giggled like a child. Her entire body shook as she laughed and her eyebrows shaped into a perfect arch twitched. Her long luxuriant hair flowed down to her shoulder. The candle light in the dark illuminated her rosy cheeks and her playful smile. However, I remembered this year will be much different from the last. Although, I was excited to finally meet my mom after 10 months of not seeing her due to hospitalization in Korea, I was nervous to see her physical changes. I will not be able to see her luxuriant hair or her perfect arch eyebrows or her fair skin. I was uncertain if she has the same vibrant spirit that spread joy in our family. I imagined her fragile body, unstable to support her own weight. A delicate leaf that is struggling to stay intact with the branch of the dead tree. Then I stopped my uncontrollable imagination when I began to visualize my mom without any hair.
I well understood that I could never change things that already happened to my life. The unpredictable news about my mom's breast cancer has already taught me valuable lesson that I live in this world and not the other way around. The only option for me is to adapt to the environment and cope with the situation. I refocused on the screen and looked for perfect birthday card design that would make my mom giggle again. I searched for the painting Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci on google and pressed print. I grabbed a stack of color papers that I loaned from my art teacher and began to outline balloons on them. I meticulously glued the printed painting of Mona Lisa on the birthday card and glued the balloons right next to the face of Mona Lisa. I had cut out decorated party hat from the color paper and put it on Mona Lisa's head. With glitter glue, I wrote, "Laughter cures Cancer". I observed my masterpiece with great pride as I peeled off the sticky glue from my fingers.
Then I noticed the party hat was at slight angle. I delicately tried to reposition it. Then I heard a soft, yet intense ripping sound that penetrated my ears. I looked at the ruined card like I have just witnessed or committed a murder. I quickly responded by looking around me trying to understand my situation. I saw countless pieces of paper on the ground and realized I did not have enough resources to make another one.
I remembered myself adapting to situation where my mom was no longer in the house. I supplanted my mom's duty. I began to do dishes, cleaning, cooking, helping my dad pay rent, and other housework. During this time, I have learned that the challenges can be opportunities. I have used the time to rebuild myself. I became more independent, and responsible member of our family. I knew I could turn this ripped birthday card into my advantage. I grabbed a scissor and cut the birthday card into rectangular pieces; I made a puzzle of Mona Lisa.
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