I thought I wasn't good enough - I had problems with reading; WHY TRANSFER? /BC, UCLA,NEU

I'm applying to school such as BC,UCLA, NEU and my gap is 3.5 so I really need my essay to stand out. What do you guys think? Question-why do you want to transfer?

Only when we were at 33,000ft into the air, did reality begin to set in. I was leaving my tedious life for Brazil to begin a journey that would change my whole perspective on life. I had been selected to study abroad during the summer of sophomore year in high school. During my stay in Brazil, while taking classes I volunteered at a school for deaf children and taught English at a school for 5th graders. My experience abroad was unexpected and out of my comfort zone and made me realize that I could accomplish anything. I discovered my desire to help people and penchant for culture.

My high school performance didn't enable me to peruse my goals because during high school it took me a long time long time to realize my full potential. I struggled with a reading disability. I thought I wasn't good enough. My lack of confidence contributed to my lack of motivation. I received bad grades as a result. Then things changed after my trip. My accomplishments in Brazil showed me that it wasn't that I wasn't good enough; it was just that I had to take a different approach to learning. Studying abroad was different from what I had experienced in school. It allowed me to try other ways of teaching and learning and this helped me discover that there are several ways of doing something.

Different approaches lead me to experiencing a unique college experience. I decided to take a unique approach to perusing my college education and enroll in Foundation Year, a one- year college program at Northeastern University. My decision to attend foundation year was based on the fact that I wanted to continue my education while receiving support to be successful as I transitioned from high school to college. Foundation year provided me with a second chance to continue to develop as a student and person as I have acquired an increase in self-confidence and self discipline.

After a year of studying, I feel more established as a student and capable of directing my future. This year has allowed me to learn how I operate as a student and the techniques needed in order to be successful in college. I've had an opportunity to study different areas and figure out what worked for me. By taking a variety of general education courses, I was offered a wide lens of possible majors that interested me. Through this exposure, I realized that I want to combine my love for helping people and love for culture and turn it into a career.

I believe attending your institution will be the next stop in my journey to achieving my dreams. I want to gain an understanding of foreign cultures and societies, and the dynamic of world politics and how other nations perceive the world. My journey to Brazil made me view the world in a much wider perspective, and I plan to eventually use my cultural awareness and ability to speak several languages to help the world. I'm now looking forward to pushing myself to experience places that aren't quite so familiar. Attending your University will lead me to the necessary requirements I need to succeed in life.

This sounds a bit too abstract - you are leaving where?
My high school performance didn't enable me to peruse my goals because during high school it took me a long time long time to realize my full potential.


I think you need to attend this part again. Begin with your reading disability and tell them what was the reason. It is an important thing for them to know.

Some corrections
1. I thought I wasn't good enough -> I thought that I wasn't good enough
2. My accomplishments in Brazil showed me that it wasn't that I wasn't good enough -> My accomplishments in Brazil showed me that I wasn't good enough

3. it was just that I had to take a different approach to learning -> it was just something that I had to take a different approach to learn

4. It allowed me to try other ways of teaching and learning and this helped me discover that there are several ways of doing something -> were

5. Different approaches lead me to experiencing a unique college experience ->Different approaches had led me to experience....
6. I decided to take a unique approach to pursuing...-> I decided to take a unique approach to pursue... (to+v1)
7. figured out what worked for me -> I dont get it, it means job ?
7. I've had an opportunity to study different areas and figure out what worked for me -> .... and figured out...
8. I realized that I want to combine my love for helping people and love for culture and turn it into a career -> ....my love to help people...and culture of love

9. ....in my journey to achieving -> to achieve
10. ...forward to pushing..-> to push

Help with mine -> My first scholarship essay time ever