Hey, below is the essay i intend to submit with my Common Application. I am applying to Princeton, Stanford and Cornell and intend to major in engineering. Do you think it is appropriate? Please read it and give your critique, it will be highly appreciated. :)
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Ties, Girls and Universal Primary Education.
I stand still; put aback by the sheer magnitude of the endeavor. Uneasily readjusting my tie, I try and gain composure. The room is silent; pregnant with anticipation. All eyes are on me. I begin to speak, but end up choking on my words; a false start. I let out a nervous chuckle, exuding pseudo-confidence. My eyes dart from side to side as I examine my audience, looking for a familiar face, searching for reassurance. The attempt is futile. It's now or never. With a final exhalation, I begin my argument. This time, I do not choke on my words; the fluidity of my presentation encourages me to project my voice further. I ease into the body of my speech with the poise of a professional. The voice coming out of the public address system can't possibly be mine. I sound convincing. Time for my resolution expires and I return to my seat; pleased. This is the East African Model United Nations.
Many of my friends find my commitment to the Model United Nations peculiar. They do not understand how year after year I sacrifice my time, resources and mental capacity to the same club. In fact many a boy in my year has questioned the motives of my involvement; suggesting that it is just a clever ploy to hit on girls or perhaps that am just interested in the vanity of dressing up in formal ware for a week. However, to understand my dedication to this club requires one to go beyond the superficial, to the very essence of the program: a forum through which the young generation can have their go at confronting the issues facing the world. It is in this facet of the program that I gain my gratification.
It is often said that the youth are the leaders of tomorrow. However, with M.U.N., I get to exercise the power to deliberate on issues as I see fit today. My opinion matters and is in fact sought after. I get a chance to employ public speaking, group communication, research, policy analysis, active listening, negotiating and conflict resolution to a current issue affecting the world. It is the ultimate validation of self-worth when a resolution you wrote is seen as fit for adoption by the General Assembly and it is even more pleasing when a heated debate ensues in the conference about the merits and demerits of a particular operative clauses you suggested. The flow of intellectual acuity is evident throughout the forum and without a doubt we all leave more knowledgeable and conscious as pertains international relations and the problems facing the world.
Through M.U.N., I have not found the answers to life's questions and neither have I fronted solutions to all the world's problems. No. I however have truly gained a multi-dimensional perception towards life in general through this program; appreciation of human rights together with tolerance towards diversity, awareness of the ethical dilemmas that come with most scientific advancements as well as the conflict of interest that many states face when involved in bilateral and multilateral political, social and economic relations.
You will therefore see me in M.U.N. next February. I may be expanding my mental capacity by discussing issues of international importance, nervously readjusting my tie as I try not to let the assembly's size demoralize me or perhaps I will be exercising my reasoning ability to formulate feasible methods of achieving universal primary education. And if I get the numbers of some attractive girls in the process, well that's just an added advantage.
Thanks... :)
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Ties, Girls and Universal Primary Education.
I stand still; put aback by the sheer magnitude of the endeavor. Uneasily readjusting my tie, I try and gain composure. The room is silent; pregnant with anticipation. All eyes are on me. I begin to speak, but end up choking on my words; a false start. I let out a nervous chuckle, exuding pseudo-confidence. My eyes dart from side to side as I examine my audience, looking for a familiar face, searching for reassurance. The attempt is futile. It's now or never. With a final exhalation, I begin my argument. This time, I do not choke on my words; the fluidity of my presentation encourages me to project my voice further. I ease into the body of my speech with the poise of a professional. The voice coming out of the public address system can't possibly be mine. I sound convincing. Time for my resolution expires and I return to my seat; pleased. This is the East African Model United Nations.
Many of my friends find my commitment to the Model United Nations peculiar. They do not understand how year after year I sacrifice my time, resources and mental capacity to the same club. In fact many a boy in my year has questioned the motives of my involvement; suggesting that it is just a clever ploy to hit on girls or perhaps that am just interested in the vanity of dressing up in formal ware for a week. However, to understand my dedication to this club requires one to go beyond the superficial, to the very essence of the program: a forum through which the young generation can have their go at confronting the issues facing the world. It is in this facet of the program that I gain my gratification.
It is often said that the youth are the leaders of tomorrow. However, with M.U.N., I get to exercise the power to deliberate on issues as I see fit today. My opinion matters and is in fact sought after. I get a chance to employ public speaking, group communication, research, policy analysis, active listening, negotiating and conflict resolution to a current issue affecting the world. It is the ultimate validation of self-worth when a resolution you wrote is seen as fit for adoption by the General Assembly and it is even more pleasing when a heated debate ensues in the conference about the merits and demerits of a particular operative clauses you suggested. The flow of intellectual acuity is evident throughout the forum and without a doubt we all leave more knowledgeable and conscious as pertains international relations and the problems facing the world.
Through M.U.N., I have not found the answers to life's questions and neither have I fronted solutions to all the world's problems. No. I however have truly gained a multi-dimensional perception towards life in general through this program; appreciation of human rights together with tolerance towards diversity, awareness of the ethical dilemmas that come with most scientific advancements as well as the conflict of interest that many states face when involved in bilateral and multilateral political, social and economic relations.
You will therefore see me in M.U.N. next February. I may be expanding my mental capacity by discussing issues of international importance, nervously readjusting my tie as I try not to let the assembly's size demoralize me or perhaps I will be exercising my reasoning ability to formulate feasible methods of achieving universal primary education. And if I get the numbers of some attractive girls in the process, well that's just an added advantage.
Thanks... :)