The prompt says, "...a significant experience...".
I might be wrong, but I think it means "one" significant experience. You, however, are describing the overall experience of being in M.U.N.
Thanks for the comment. I actually had an issue with whether it was suitable for the prompt. Fortunately, common app gives you several prompts from which you select one. They are :
- Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
- Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
- Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
- Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.
- A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
- Topic of your choice.
They encourage you to try and fit your essay into one of the 5 direct prompt before rushing into the 'topic of your choice' one. I am not sure which would be most appropriate. Thanks again.
Google around about the correct use of semi-colons, since you seem to like them so much!! I like them, too.
Haha. I just throw them in when something doesn't sound right. I will google them though. My last grammar class was about 2 years ago. lol!
Ha ha, now THIS is a good sentence to use at the start of the essay. I almost want to tell you to chop that whole confusing first paragraph so that this second paragraph will become paragraph 1.
Your para #1 is confusing!! But para #2 will make a great intro, I think!
OMG! you are so right. Then I can build up the body a bit more. I think I will do that. I guess I took the whole 'captivating intro' a tad overboard. lol!!
I think you need to cut this too, since you don't have them.
I though this will make me seem more... real? I mean I do not want to come off as saying that MUN should replace all world governments because we are so awesome. Does that make any sense at all? lol!!
I am really admire your commitment to the club, since I quit my club due to the lack of interest (commitment =p). Well, who them what you've got!
Lol!! Thanks. Though I think the vanity of formal wear ( I love ties) and the girls are what has kept the interest at such an elevated level