I have gone through this essay a couple times and have refined it quite a bit, but I feel it could be better. Any help would be appreciated.
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
Of all the experiences that I have gone through in my life, none have prepared me better for college and for life as my tae-kwon-do training. In my training from a toddler to my teenage years, I learned much from my instructors beyond how to do a roundhouse kick. They taught me character traits and life skills that will be invaluable to me at the University of Florida.
My tae-kwon-do instructors emphasized that tae-kwon-do (TKD) as the building of both strength and character. Determination, courage, and teamwork were all traits that my instructors valued; they integrated these qualities into every facet of our training. During practice sessions, my instructors would push me to keep going, and keep trying until I had perfected my technique. I couldn't always master it that day, but the idealism remained: Determination is a valuable attribute.
At UF, my determination could help me with many aspects of campus life. Some of the toughest assignments from my school work would really be just a sheer test of determination. A 20 page paper only appears to be impossible when you lack willpower, but mine would be seemingly endless thanks to my TKD training.
TKD also gave me the courage to believe in myself. My instructors valued a "just do it!" attitude. As a believer of those words, I feel a responsibility to use courage to be the best student I could possibly be. Due to my courage, I would try out for a sport or an organization that I otherwise would not have considered doing. Alternatively, I would have the courage to take a class that was a little out of my comfort zone.
Finally, my experience in tae-kwon-doe taught me teamwork. At UF, teamwork embodies all facets of campus life, from sports to class to fraternities. Being a citizen of the UF campus would mean working with others. Due to the values forged into me by my TKD training, I would be able to use my teamwork to enhance both my experience at UF, as well as the school itself.
My TKD experience is one that will certainly benefit my ability to contribute to the University of Florida. Because of my instructor's strong emphasis on courage, determination, and teamwork, I feel that I would be able to be exceptionally suited to what UF needs to contribute to its society.
This Response contains 392 words (2,249 Characters).
It can contain a maximum of 450-500 words (3,885 Characters).
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
Of all the experiences that I have gone through in my life, none have prepared me better for college and for life as my tae-kwon-do training. In my training from a toddler to my teenage years, I learned much from my instructors beyond how to do a roundhouse kick. They taught me character traits and life skills that will be invaluable to me at the University of Florida.
My tae-kwon-do instructors emphasized that tae-kwon-do (TKD) as the building of both strength and character. Determination, courage, and teamwork were all traits that my instructors valued; they integrated these qualities into every facet of our training. During practice sessions, my instructors would push me to keep going, and keep trying until I had perfected my technique. I couldn't always master it that day, but the idealism remained: Determination is a valuable attribute.
At UF, my determination could help me with many aspects of campus life. Some of the toughest assignments from my school work would really be just a sheer test of determination. A 20 page paper only appears to be impossible when you lack willpower, but mine would be seemingly endless thanks to my TKD training.
TKD also gave me the courage to believe in myself. My instructors valued a "just do it!" attitude. As a believer of those words, I feel a responsibility to use courage to be the best student I could possibly be. Due to my courage, I would try out for a sport or an organization that I otherwise would not have considered doing. Alternatively, I would have the courage to take a class that was a little out of my comfort zone.
Finally, my experience in tae-kwon-doe taught me teamwork. At UF, teamwork embodies all facets of campus life, from sports to class to fraternities. Being a citizen of the UF campus would mean working with others. Due to the values forged into me by my TKD training, I would be able to use my teamwork to enhance both my experience at UF, as well as the school itself.
My TKD experience is one that will certainly benefit my ability to contribute to the University of Florida. Because of my instructor's strong emphasis on courage, determination, and teamwork, I feel that I would be able to be exceptionally suited to what UF needs to contribute to its society.
This Response contains 392 words (2,249 Characters).
It can contain a maximum of 450-500 words (3,885 Characters).