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In the Tomb-Sweeping Day several years ago, I went back to Kaiping; common application



katetan 2 / 4  
Dec 9, 2014   #1
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND OPINIONS.I am happy to receive your advice!!

TOPIC: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

In the Tomb-Sweeping Day several years ago, I went back to Kaiping, the hometown of my grandfather's family. On my way to there I complain a lot about wasting my holiday in this travel. Since I have never been to Kaiping, I do not understand why I should take this trip. My father did not explain the reason to me on the car. But after I got there, I came to understand why.

The village my grandpa used to live in is one of the poorest in the area. Before I stand on the mud road and saw everything there, I do not really understand what they meant by "poor". Cars were unable to run on this road so we had to enter the village on foot. The fanciest building in the village was the two-story house in the entrance of the village. I was told that the building was not a private residence; it was a clinic built by the government. Most of other buildings were old brick houses with thick moss on them. My dad introduced me to a girl, Tan Junling, who was my age but seemed older than me. She told me that she has dropped out from high school to help her family do the farming job. She was in 10th grade and she was one of the best in her class. She said that it was lucky for her to enter high school while some kids in the village dropped out from school after their graduation from middle school. I was shocked. I looked at her: she is thinner and taller than me. Her skin is tanned, hair was in a mess and her nails were big and thick due to the field work. She was a girl of my age; she has the right to be pretty. She should have those make-ups and different kinds of masks like every girl in our age do, but she does not.

I never realize in somewhere 100kms away from my home lived those poor kids whose family could not give them financial support to get into high schools. Moreover, they cannot get what every kid in the city owns. It seemed that born in rich family means everything to a child. Because of money, they can go to school, get in college and have their own business started with money provided by their parents. But kids in Kaiping are just as smart as those who born in better situation. They will make very good students yet they don't have the chance. I feel grateful of my parents. I feel grateful for everything I have and everyone I meet.

I came to understand why my dad took me to the trip. He wanted me to understand that I was lucky enough. I must cherish thing I had. I entered a famous high school, had a group of friends and enjoyed classes of great teachers. I must be blessed to have met such nice people. Although there are always something I don't feel palatable, like mean teachers and school dinner, I should feel grateful as this suffering cannot happened to everyone in the world.

According to my mom, I came back from Kaiping as an angle. I understand that as a kid, I can be wayward and naughty regardless of things my family does for me. But as an adult, I can't take all I had in my life as granted. I must be grateful to everything, even the bad thing happened to me.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Dec 10, 2014   #2
Katetan, this is not really a child to adult transition story. It is more like "I want you to behave so I will show you the other side of life" type of narrative. This is a lesson narrative instead of a transition narrative. Try to look for one event in your life that offered you a chance to prove your sense of responsibility, authority, or ability to make important decisions that relate to your sense of maturity as an individual. Some of these instances can include a religious event that marks your coming of age (as in the Jewish tradition), circumcision (as in a social and cultural concept). your first hunt (as a family tradition), getting a driver's license (as a government right of passage) and many others. These all depict events that have you gain a larger sense of who you are in the overall scheme of the world and how you must now act as a person. Note that one thing connotes maturity in these events, you come of age and are given more responsibility because you are expected to finally be responsible, logical, and mature enough to handle these situations.
OP katetan 2 / 4  
Dec 11, 2014   #3
Hi vangiespen,Thanks a lot for your advice. I do have an experience about the concept you said above but it relates to exams and scores. I am not sure if it is OK for the Common Application. I will post it below and please give me your opinions.
OP katetan 2 / 4  
Dec 11, 2014   #4
This is my new essay on the same topic and I wonder if you could take a look on it. Thank you again for everything.

MOD's comment:One essay in one thread please


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