This is the 1500 character-limited entry that I'm working on for my UBC Personal Profile. @Holt please could you give me some feedback? Thanks.
TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. HOW WOULD YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND/OR MEMBERS OF YOUR COMMUNITY DESCRIBE YOU? IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE INCLUDE SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF AND WHY. (MAXIMUM 1500 CHARACTERS)
Since I can remember, I've had a curiosity that has driven me towards accomplishment, for better or for worse. At times, I've fallen down Wikipedia rabbit holes (mostly related to music and history, which can SURPRISINGLY go together very well) and attempt to retain the information I read for any conversation that could have an opening for it. I've also gotten scolded for having so much interest in my family heritage (I become a nuisance when faced with this particular activity, sometimes). This sense of commitment and my thirst for knowledge has helped in my academic studies; I consistently challenge myself in my personal and educational life. As a result, I seek new experiences and opportunities to connect with people and myself more, as I've been a reserved person for most of my life. For example, I've taken on higher-grade courses in previous grades and have still gotten on the honour roll two years in a row. I'm juggling a co-op program, a new part-time job, participation in my Student Council as a Grade 12 rep, and an experiential learning program offered by my provincial government, all while maintaining an excellent average. Through these experiences, I've learned that everybody has an intrinsic need for human interaction, no matter how we deny it. I've seen and felt the way anyone, including myself, lights up when they exchange words with someone. It doesn't have to be meaningful, and it pushes me to want to learn more, no longer alone.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 This prompt actually asks the applicant to write about himself from the third person perspective in 3 settings: as an offspring of the family and sibling (optional), as a well intentioned friend, and as a community participant. These backgrounders will assist the reviewer in assessing the suitability of the candidate in terms of fitting into the student community at large.
Is this person someone who will thrive in the academic community setting based upon his upbringing (how the family sees him/her), how he/she functions within a team setting (helpfulness, positive influencer, and cooperative with his friends), and if the/she participates in community activities designed to promote camaraderie and peace among community members (will the student community be more organized and happy with his inclusion?) These depictions and explanations will help the reviewer define who the student is based on an all around preliminary assessment.
As for what the student is most proud of, the response to that could be an amalgamation of his overall personality as it applies to a specific, but inclusive setting where all 3 points of view connect to create a final personality assessment. This writing falls short of these developments since these are all based upon a singular point of view that does not follow the prompt writing guidelines.
