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'Track & Field in middle school' - COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER



StephR 4 / 14  
Nov 23, 2012   #1
I deiced to repost my short answer cause i really really need help with it and need to get it done soon.

In middle school, I participated in Track & Field, finding it to be a fun experience, but had ultimately decided not to continue in high school. Instead, spending the first two years of my high school experience focusing more on grades and my classes, I got back into track during my junior year and decided to continue it through senior year. Track was just as I remembered, but a bit harder because of how long it had been since I had last done it. I began my junior year of track as a sprinter, but eventually my coach thought I was better suited as a mid-distance runner. When the first track meet came around, I felt as if I was in middle school again. I got that same feeling I did before a race, when your stomach is in a twist and you just feel like throwing up, but in the end everything turns out just fine and you don't care if you win or lose. I regret not doing track during freshman and sophomore year, but I am glad that I eventually got back into it.

chow95 - / 23  
Nov 25, 2012   #2
StephR

You should try to use more sophisticated vocabulary.
Like for the sentence Track was just as I remembered, but a bit harder because of how long it had been since I had last done it.

You could say Track was just as I remembered, but more strenuous because of how long it had been since I had last done it.
sevbrown 1 / 4  
Nov 25, 2012   #3
i agree with everyone else, but also try to make your sentences choppier. youre using a lot of commas and making your point harder to understand.


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