Required for all applicants: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community? (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words.
Before attending Episcopal, I believed that tradition was expectation. However, after four years spent on what we call the "Holy Hill," I could not have been any more wrong. Tradition is what motivates you. Tradition is what empowers your passion. Tradition is a part of you and your legacy.
I believe that University of Pennsylvania, throughout its 270 plus years of history, has established the tradition to propel its student to a higher level of learning and social awareness. The countless numbers of volunteering opportunities at Penn embody the principle that Benjamin Franklin exhibited in being the forefather of this institution- "an inclination...to serve mankind." Throughout high school, I have dedicated over 500 hours of serving the elderly, tutoring the struggling students, and guiding the underclassmen to have a better foundation for their academic and social life. Penn presents a multitude of unique volunteering opportunities- such as working at the Center for Advocacy for Rights and Interests of the Elderly, mentoring at the Birney Preparatory Academy, and teaching at the West Philadelphia school community. As part of the Penn tradition, I aspire to contribute to the passion in the volunteering for what I truly care about and share the experience that I have gathered over the last four years working in similar fields of service.
The proud tradition of the Honor Code, "I will not lie. I will not cheat. I will not steal. I will report the student who does.", that Episcopal was established upon is still regarded as the most crucial principle that holds the tight-knit community together. The Honor Code system has led me to be proud with honesty about my academic achievements and to constantly challenge me in my intellectual endeavor. In my junior year, I made a choice of taking a class that juniors do not usually take, AP Physics C. The class was extremely challenging and it was the first class that I really couldn't understand by myself. To be honest, the class wasn't my favorite, but working with my peers, it taught me to believe that cooperation produces something else, something greater. I never gave up and ultimately became a student tutor in the subject this year. Surrounded by passionate and hard-working students like myself, I believe that I can contribute the energy and passion into the classroom environment that enables us to challenge something greater than ourselves alone. I know for a fact that the School of Arts and Sciences at Penn will provide me with the knowledge through its prestigious faculty that care about its students. However, I believe that the connections and the cooperative atmosphere created among its students will provide me with the skill and fervor to be proud and purposeful of my academic endeavor.
Whenever delving further into my research on University of Pennsylvania, I can always feel the chills on my back from the excitement of how being part of this tradition may affect me. I can't help feeling excited about the volunteer work that is available and how I will be proud of my journey to a higher level of learning. I want to leave a legacy in the Philadelphian community that empowers and motivates the people that I help. I want to interact with my peers in a way that builds true friendship amidst academic obstacles. I want to be the part of the Penn tradition.
I love the parallelism at the beginning of your intro with "tradition." It really adds the voice to the essay.
Your first paragraph is really strong especially with the first reference to Benjamin Franklin. You incorporated it into your essay well, but after the bragging about how many hours you contributed, talk about why volunteering appeals to you or why is it significant. I know you explain why with the Ben Frank allusion, but expand a bit on it in order to show yourself as with noble intentions.
This essay is really strong. You effectively show how you will contribute to Penn University and you end it with a strong finish. I'm not a grammar wiz, but this essay is really strong in content and ideas.
Good luck with UPenn!
Can you give my essay, Common App - Extracurricular a read?
Hello! First off, LOVE what you have to say about tradition!! Your writing is great, and so are your vivid examples. I've made some minor suggestions on grammar in red. Also, the prompt says to consider the specific undergrad school to which you are applying, but I feel as though you merely mention it in passing. You nailedddd the unique aspects of UPenn as a whole, but I would probably go back and find something specific about undergrad to add. Perhaps a specific program for a major you are considering? Idk, but best of luck! :))
