(TransferEssay- 1 Semester)- Reasons for Leaving & Academic Goals at UCONN :)

For significant personal reasons, I withdrew my acceptance to the University of Connecticut: Greater Hartford Campus for the fall semester. I had applied directly to this campus without a full understanding that I would not be able to transfer to the Storr's campus until after 2 years. My original decision was to delay my college education until the Spring - when there was the possibility of being readmitted into UCONN; this time at the Storr's campus - but Gateway offers me a chance to continue my education for a very modest cost per semester, at a location very close to my home.

Now, I'll be attending Gateway Community College in the fall. I'm excited to start, because I know I'll be able to get the "A" GPA I've always been capable of. I paid for the first semester at Gateway myself, and I plan to get the most out of it I possibly can. The diverse student population and new location in downtown New Haven make it very appealing to me. It allows me very close proximity to where I assist with Substance Abuse Counseling, and I'll be exposed to such a variety of different people from all walks of life. The opportunity seems spectacular!

I plan to major in psychology to pursue my interest in cognitive science. Since I began to counsel those suffering with substance dependency my interest in the human mind has blossomed and flourished.

With all that said, however, Gateway is limited in what classes it is able to offer me. I've heard great things about College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at The University of Connecticut - Storr's campus. The rigorous science courses that are offered there will not simply teach me Cognitive Science, but allow me to truly understand it. An understanding that I will undoubtedly carry with me to graduate school and some day obtaining my doctoral degree.

Cognitive Science is such an intricate discipline, one that I would be proud to study at the highly accredited University of Connecticut. The academic challenge it offers, the chance to explore my major not just inside the classroom but in the field, and the broad array of campus-life activities and organizations make clear that the The University of Connecticut is the very best institution to pursue my education in psychology and establish a foundation for my future.

At the University of Connecticut I intend to take a multitude of courses in psychology along with courses in biological sciences. The mind is such an intricate entity and requires understanding at both cellular and systemic levels.

Readmission into the University of Connecticut as a transfer student would mean an impressive college experience and the ability to acquire complete comprehension of cognitive science as it is known today. es in biological sciences. The mind is such an intricate entity and requires understanding at both cellular and systemic levels.

***This is my first draft, and I have not yet started classes at community college, they begin Sept. 4th. I applied to Uconn, directly to a branch campus and was accepted, but did not realize i would not be allowed to switch to storrs until after 2 years. For this reason as well as personal struggles and a distance issue (1hr drive each way) i withdrew my acceptance. I'm working to save for college, as my parents cannot give much in financial aid. UCONN has always been my first choice. The deadline for application is October 1st, 2012.***

Excellent essay! I feel if you add how you could contribute to The University of Connecticut Storrs. Also, incorporating the the university's mission statement into your own words and how you could contribute to their mission would further add why you would want to attend.


no apostrophe in the name.

So I want to transfer as a 2nd semester freshman pretty much. My application is 100% finished except for some editing to my essay. Would it be better to submit the application earlier?

Currently I only have 4 credits from an AP exam, the rest of my credits wont be complete until after the 1st semester - end of december - and the deadline for the transfer app is Oct 1st.

I definitely want UCONN to consider my community college grades - because I plan on the 4.0 - but it seems as if the only thing they'll have to go off of is my 3.2 high school gpa and 1890 SAT score, both of which were accomplished with absolute minimal effort; something I am definitely not proud of in retrospect. Really wish I put more effort into it.

I have a bunch of really good EC's but I'm not sure how much they play into the decision.
Also went through a big personal struggle, not sure if I could incorporate that - it's not something many people understand.

Anyone else have experience with transferring anywhere after just 1 college semester?
Sorry it's unrelated to my essay directly, but it relates to my transfer, and I can't find answers/ advice anywhere else. Thanks everyone

Also would like other suggestions and critique for my essay, I plan on submitting it in a few days if no one has any advice left =P

This is a great essay! Your reasoning is clear and your desire jumps off the page!
There are a few nit picky grammatical errors especially in your use of a semicolon. Semicolons should only be used to combine two complete sentences. For example, "The sooner, the better; is a saying that holds true to my belief." This is not a proper use as "The sooner, the better" is not a complete sentence and "is a saying that holds true to my belief" is not a sentence.

The last thing I'd say comes in the end of your essay. In the third paragraph from the end you say "finally" as if you are concluding your list, however you then give another reason paragraph before your conclusion. "Finally" should come in the paragraph immediately before the conclusion.

Hope this helps!

Thanks Ann! Glad you liked it, reassurance is such an amazing thing! So I'm going to submit it and thanks for the critique :)