I am applying to Central Connecticut State University for the Fall with a deadline of May 1st. The only thing holding me back from sending in my application is preparing a well-thought out essay. I've been working on my essay and I would like help editing and revising sentence structure, grammar, and anything else!
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
I felt the bead of sweat drip down the side of my neck, the tiny goosebumps rising in the midst of a scorching, hot day and my stomach clenching at the thought of my co-driver's scrutinizing gaze. I was adjusting my seat, both the front and side mirrors, until I finally clicked my seat belt in place. The driving inspector from the DMV looked patient but his pursed lips and small creases on his forehead gave him away. I knew he had a schedule to keep and I could not waste his time. "Okay, I'm ready," I assured him. Looking back at his clipboard to check a few things off, he pointed towards the road instructing me to begin.
At that moment in time, a million thoughts must have rushed through my mind trying to remember every single detail my school's driving instructor taught me because I could not bear to see my inspector's reactions to every wrong move I made. The idea of living up to my own expectations seemed impossible because I would always set the bar too high and when I missed my opportunity, I blamed it on the fact I did not jump high enough. To everybody else, my goals seemed reasonable but it was often my lack of motivation that deterred me from crossing the finish line. However, having a few conversations with my friends who told me that they failed their license test on the first try only made me want to study harder and practice longer so I was ready for mine. The only thought I had in mind was "what if I end up failing miserably?" Was this the stress talking or the inevitable truth that I just could not handle the wheel under a pressurized, trafficked environment? I tried to push these thoughts out of my mind when we drove back to the school after painstakingly maneuvering turns and handling proper parking etiquette. The co-driver took a few, agonizing extra moments to make his decision, but when he finally looked up, he smiled showing me his clipboard with straight check marks along the side of the paper.
I knew my family depended on me to pass this test, which was originally strange having that kind of pressure on sixteen year old me. It was a different kind of pressure compared to a parent telling a child to do good in school. I would be the first child and the second person in the family to start driving. My mother was terrified of driving on the road, and my father was often busy juggling a job and running errands that we never actually had real family time out of the house. My siblings and I scarcely participated in any extracurricular activities for the reason that we simply did not have rides readily available to us. But if I passed my test, my father would have no more demands of car rides to after school activities and sleepovers because that responsibility would now be shifted over to me. I would begin to share the road with the usual morning commuters on their way to work and the soccer moms dropping their kids off to games.
It began to dawn on me that my license was not only a mode of transportation but it was my way up into the world. It would allow me to explore a little more than the boundaries of my small, suburban neighborhood. The opportunities were endless and I began to see things from a new perspective - my new responsibilities allowed me to appreciate what my parents dealt with on a daily basis, especially since I would be in their positions soon.
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
I felt the bead of sweat drip down the side of my neck, the tiny goosebumps rising in the midst of a scorching, hot day and my stomach clenching at the thought of my co-driver's scrutinizing gaze. I was adjusting my seat, both the front and side mirrors, until I finally clicked my seat belt in place. The driving inspector from the DMV looked patient but his pursed lips and small creases on his forehead gave him away. I knew he had a schedule to keep and I could not waste his time. "Okay, I'm ready," I assured him. Looking back at his clipboard to check a few things off, he pointed towards the road instructing me to begin.
At that moment in time, a million thoughts must have rushed through my mind trying to remember every single detail my school's driving instructor taught me because I could not bear to see my inspector's reactions to every wrong move I made. The idea of living up to my own expectations seemed impossible because I would always set the bar too high and when I missed my opportunity, I blamed it on the fact I did not jump high enough. To everybody else, my goals seemed reasonable but it was often my lack of motivation that deterred me from crossing the finish line. However, having a few conversations with my friends who told me that they failed their license test on the first try only made me want to study harder and practice longer so I was ready for mine. The only thought I had in mind was "what if I end up failing miserably?" Was this the stress talking or the inevitable truth that I just could not handle the wheel under a pressurized, trafficked environment? I tried to push these thoughts out of my mind when we drove back to the school after painstakingly maneuvering turns and handling proper parking etiquette. The co-driver took a few, agonizing extra moments to make his decision, but when he finally looked up, he smiled showing me his clipboard with straight check marks along the side of the paper.
I knew my family depended on me to pass this test, which was originally strange having that kind of pressure on sixteen year old me. It was a different kind of pressure compared to a parent telling a child to do good in school. I would be the first child and the second person in the family to start driving. My mother was terrified of driving on the road, and my father was often busy juggling a job and running errands that we never actually had real family time out of the house. My siblings and I scarcely participated in any extracurricular activities for the reason that we simply did not have rides readily available to us. But if I passed my test, my father would have no more demands of car rides to after school activities and sleepovers because that responsibility would now be shifted over to me. I would begin to share the road with the usual morning commuters on their way to work and the soccer moms dropping their kids off to games.
It began to dawn on me that my license was not only a mode of transportation but it was my way up into the world. It would allow me to explore a little more than the boundaries of my small, suburban neighborhood. The opportunities were endless and I began to see things from a new perspective - my new responsibilities allowed me to appreciate what my parents dealt with on a daily basis, especially since I would be in their positions soon.
Do You Need