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'travel to my parent village of Aba, Nigeria' Personal statement for medical program



tochiajiwe 1 / 3  
Dec 19, 2011   #1
This is my personal statement. Just wanted some feedback! Thanks!!

Prompt: - Why are you interested in medicine or dentistry as a profession?
- What motivates you to learn more about medicine or dentistry?
- What do you want program sites to know about you that has not been disclosed in another part of the application?
In addition, you may wish to include such information as:
- What special hardships, challenges, or obstacles may have influenced your educational pursuits?

The sweat dripped from my forehead and descended down a hundred feet to the bottom as I tenaciously clung to the jagged rocks above me. I pulled myself up, stood and took a break to admire the view of the horizon, recapturing in my mind the struggle of my climb and the reasons why I traversed this strenuous journey. Climbing up this mountain called life has been unpredictable. Sometimes, when I feel that the next ledge is within my grasp, reaching for it only causes the shaky support beneath my feet to crumble, leaving me battered and bruised on the bottom. With the drive from my faith, I take another route on the mountain and relentlessly start climbing again.

I grew up in the lowly, African American-dominated neighborhoods in the Third Ward of Houston, Texas. My parents were Nigerian immigrants and were extremely hard workers who devoted their time to school, work, and providing for my little sister and I. Bad influences were rampant and I started hanging with the wrong crowd due to a lack of attention from my father. My poor decisions sadly caused dysfunction in my family's life and nearly caused a divorce in my parent's marriage. My grades were detestable and I fell into an deep sea of depression while my father took up smoking to cope with the stress of school and work. It was hopelessness at its finest and around the age of twelve I started to conclude that my life was meant to be like this and that nothing could free my family from this inescapable plummet down the abyss of despair.

I believe, without a doubt, that through the undying prayers of my late grandmother, things started to turn around for the better. My incessant mother finished nursing school and my diligent father graduated from medical school. We started going to church and I gave my life to the Lord in the summer of 2005. We moved to the peaceful town of Pearland, Texas just south of Houston and I enrolled in the high school there. With my life redirected and my past behind me, I dropped my undesirable habits and prepared for my freshman year where I discovered my unknown intellect and my veneration for the sciences. Through my parent's successful backgrounds in the medical field and the spellbinding stories of my father's doctoral endeavors, I soon became enthralled with the subject of medicine and soon enough, I grasped on to the dream of becoming a doctor. I felt unstoppable, but tragedy would soon strike.

My beloved grandmother on my mother's side was shot and killed during the summer of my sophomore year in high school. A couple of months later, my grandmother on my father's side died from breast cancer. My uncle died from a heart attack soon after and finally, my father contracted some type of kidney disorder that was exacerbated by his addictive habit of smoking. It was a stress-riddled year for my family and I began to distance myself from my friends and even God. I unsuccessfully struggled to keep my grades up and I felt like I was falling down the same abyss I had victoriously crawled out of. Only through the support and strength of my mother and various other family members was my family able to dust ourselves off, regroup, and continue our hike uphill.

Before I graduated from high school, I got the blessed opportunity travel to my parent's village of Aba in Nigeria. I stepped into a completely bizarre culture and was appalled at the level of poverty and suffering my people were going through. My parents did as much as they could by opening a clinic in the village but the skill of the nurses was mediocre. The high demand for medical attention also thwarted my parent's hope to make a huge impact. I then entered into a local hospital that my father worked for in the past and laid eyes on a dilapidated building that came equipped with decrepit rooms with no air conditioning, a raunchy smell, and disheveled walls. I looked into the faces of hopeless patients with minor injuries who knew they wouldn't make it due to the poor quality of care.

It was a life changing experience and my drive to excel and make a difference increased all the more. I am blessed with a heart that has a genuine interest in the welfare of others and feel that it's my destiny and duty to expand on what my parents began. I want to use medicine and not only change my village, but the whole country and even the entire continent maybe. I believe that these enormous philanthropic dreams are very possible for it is written in Luke 1:37 "...nothing is impossible with God." This is my motivation as I put in the many hours of studying.

Through the sacrifices of my parents and the hardships they faced to come to America to start new lives, I was emancipated from the life I observed during my trip to Nigeria. Their climb has inspired my climb. As I finish my admiration of the horizon, I turn around and look towards my ultimate goal, the top of the mountain, where I will finally achieve self-actualization and one day change the lives of many. I trudge along this narrow path with God as my strength.

G_Ear_B_Ear815 1 / 2  
Dec 19, 2011   #2
This is very well-written both in regards to content and grammar. Your tale seems to clearly illustrate what got you interested in the medical field. Feedback on my supplements?


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