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"the true beginning of my education" - BROWN supplement

rose258 1 / 4  
Dec 26, 2010   #1
here's my eassy i need all the help i can get and im open to any suggestions or comments

PROMPT: French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?

Education isn't how much you can cram in, how much you can memorize, or how much you know. Education is being able to acknowledge that you don't know all there is to know and willing to learn. From school I learned how to read, write, multiply, add, subtract, and divide. From my parents and church I learned whats right from,how to walk and talk, take care of myself, help others, and the importance of love and God. From the world I learned that things aren't always what they seem, to help those in need, and that everyone is unique and special. I've acquired some knowledge these 17 years of my life, but I know there's more out there in the world. There are many things I haven't seen, places I've never been, books I've never see let alone heard of. This is the true beginning of my education. Its like all the other stuff I've acquired until this year were my prerequisites, the foundation to the beginning of my education.
deenz - / 5  
Dec 26, 2010   #2
the grammar and punctuation needs a lot of help, but my advice to you is to pick one of the other essay choices, this is one of the more difficult prompts. Your essay is very short, in fact its more of a short answer than an essay. I'm sorry if I am being too mean! Honestly though, if you want to get into Brown, you need at least three paragraphs and an actual response.
essceejay216 4 / 51  
Dec 26, 2010   #3
I think the fact that you basically reworded the prompt and put it into your essay is not that good of an idea. You're supposed to answer the prompt, which I don't think you did to well. You wrote about the stuff you do know instead of what you don't know (what the prompt asked you to talk about).
jjenny9301 5 / 10  
Dec 26, 2010   #4
parallel structure is a strength, only when used minimally.
Your approach is great, but try focusing more on the flow of your response.
Cortniesb 4 / 15  
Dec 26, 2010   #5
I'm sorry if I am being too mean!

Wow. Can you be mean to mine?
kaobrien 1 / 4  
Dec 26, 2010   #6
There's not much content. Similar to what others have commented, you've more or less just reworded the prompt. I would add more of your personality to it. What specifically don't you know? Or even the general specific, if that makes sense. Are your views, what you've been raised to believe, definite? Maybe your idea of right and wrong aren't correct. If you've ever questioned your faith, try exploring that.
adam2028 10 / 36  
Dec 26, 2010   #7
I agree that this essay is too short and that you just re wrote the prompt. this essay may make a good introductory paragraph, though. so you could keep this an writ a few more paragraps that answer the question
OP rose258 1 / 4  
Dec 27, 2010   #8
no u were being honest thanks
kevjunba 2 / 10  
Dec 27, 2010   #9
I feel as though this should be rewritten. The essay seems a bit too generic--you're just listing things that you don't know instead of contemplating upon them. Pick one of those items that you listed and write specifically on that. Sorry if my answer seemed very blunt!
OP rose258 1 / 4  
Dec 27, 2010   #10
yea i think adam was right maybe just use that for my 1st paragraph and expand on it
adam2028 10 / 36  
Dec 27, 2010   #11
That's what I think you should do. It's not a bad start; it's just not a finished job. There's no need to waste what you already have. Could you guys please look at my Common Application Revision.
sumitmanu 1 / 3  
Jan 1, 2011   #12
I agree with most people have said up there .. this can be a good first paragraph .. I think what you can probably do is write about avenues which you became aware of through education .. so this kind of tells you what you don't know .. such as you came to know about stories of writers or painters and this told you what you don't know .. how to write or paint .. so education kind of makes you aware of what you don't know and also gives you vicarious experiences .. so that you can judge what you would want to know ..

Hope this helped ..

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