Essay Topic
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.
PLEASE BE AS BRUATL AS POSSIBLE!
In one's life one experiences many meaningful accomplishments. It is only after one reflects on his or her life, that the most meaningful event is discovered. By my own definition, a meaningful event leads to a gained understanding of oneself. As I reflected on major milestones in my life, I came to the realization that my most meaningful accomplishment is the day I received my letter of acceptance into the International Baccalaureate (IB) program. Although that accomplishment may seem purely academics, the IB program helped build my character inside and outside of school.
My entrance into the rigorous IB program was partly a result of motivation from my family. My father inspired me to not only be a hard-working student, but a hard-working person as well, while my mother encouraged me to be more outgoing in life. However, it was my younger sister who has motivated me the most in my IB career. Although she did not help me directly, I feel I am my sister's role model and I must set a good example for her to follow. It was my sister, along with my family, who motivated me throughout grade school- which ultimately led to my own self motivation and my acceptance into the IB program.
After being accepted into the IB program, I realized I would be working hard, as I have been doing my whole life. However, I failed to realize the hard work would not only be my school assignments. I recognized that I would need to work hard on building my character, in order to prepare myself for college and life afterwards. In the IB program, as an African American, I am in the minority. However, I found that being a minority added to my motivation because I felt I needed to work harder to stand out in the crowd and shine. Furthermore, the program taught me that if there was something I desire I must be outgoing and attain it. Taking that advice to heart, by my junior year I had joined nine student organizations, including soccer- which I had never played before. By my senior year I had found my true passion, Environmental Action Group, in which I am currently secretary.
Many students use the college experience as a way to "discover their true inner being." The IB program has taught me to look past the hackneyed term of "finding oneself." The program helped me to discover myself in my high school career, that way I have the opportunity of attending college as a better person, in touch with myself and my aspiration of becoming a cardiologist. The program forced me to look past my shy persona and uncover my hidden leadership qualities. Using the skills I attained throughout the IB program I plan to make a difference on my college campus- whether it be big like becoming class president or simply having a voice in a student government meeting.
In June 2009, when I graduate high school with my IB diploma in hand and leave the IB program I will always carry the lessons I learned in the IB program and the memory of my day of acceptance and the accomplishment that led to it all.
Good afternoon.
One mechanical suggestion:
"...including soccer, which I had never played before. By my senior year I had found my true passion, the Environmental Action Group, of which I am currently secretary."
You've got the start of a very good essay here. However, it doesn't meet the prompt requirement of "how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community." You've done a good job of explaining this experience, now go back through and tie it in to how it will effect you as a member of this campus community. Do that, and you'll have a great essay. Nice work.
I hope this helps.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
