Essay Prompt:
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
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Our generation is driven by technology. By the time I arrive to school, I see people on their phones or gossiping over some petty thing that dies over in a couple of days. Teachers and administrators constantly nudge us to put our electronics away, but when students are working they go ahead and take them out. Everyone is consumed by what they see on a bright screen rather than what is currently happening.
In theory, technology has the power to advance our 'future', but why has it not? Instead there is news reports stating test scores are decreasing and more students are failing. One can argue both ways that technology both helps and slows us down.
Growing up, technology in the 2000s was very simple. Cell phones only had few commands and if you were lucky, you could have internet that ran by MBs. But now, a majority of people have smart phones that let them do more than just access the internet. Seeing younger kids have a hold of a smart phone and using it not for its educational purpose scares me. Children should not be exposed to social media until they are mature enough to use it. As children grow up to be adolescents they become more sensitive and crueler to each other because they don't know how to properly express themselves.
With the lack of knowledge to 'express' oneself, adolescents turn to hurt one another by humiliation which turns to negative consequences. In a perfect world one would be able to be honest to one another. However, we live in a world that cares too much about image than morals. Adolescents are more self-conscious because they do not want to appear weaker to their peers. But is all that necessary? After all, you attend school to receive an education, not to be pressured to be well-liked by everyone.
There were several things that I wish I could re-do in my high school career. One of them being was the time I wasted caring about what other people thought about me. In life, there are people that just do not like you and one should respect that. I tried being somebody else just to be liked but it got me nowhere. I could have taken the time to please them but I'm glad I didn't. Instead, I focused on my academics and art. Saying that you would be fine after I left them would be a lie. I faced a period of sadness that I used to fuel for my art. Learning to express myself through art allowed me to learn more about myself and who I am as an artist.
Vulnerably is very hard to cope with but the raw emotions are what make people compassionate. Its one thing being this persona online with no feelings but it's another thing to being a true kind-hearted person. In the end, it is the way you present yourself to people that counts; the more education you have and how kind you are, the more opportunities you are granted with. A way to solve this dilemma is to push our generation away from the unproductive forms of technology-then we would advance further in a productive way that benefits both our past and future.
Hi :) Your essay sounds pretty good. I have a few suggestions. You have been asked by the prompt to select an issue of importance to you. But, to me, it seems you have brought up two issues- one is technology, and the other is adolescent self-esteem. Choose one or the other, because clashing the two together makes the essay a bit awkward. Try not to ramble, keep your thoughts organized, and give several good, solid reasons to support your stance on this issue of importance. I would choose the topic of technology taking youth away from more traditional communication. That topic has a lot of things that you could discuss. Good luck in school :)
Same problem here: I find two different topics going on at the same time.
In the third paragraph, I am not sure whether the technology/adolescent self-consciousness goes well with your regrets in the past.
I understand what you are saying, since some of my essays are about regrets, too, but in this case I am not sure you are making the connection clear.
Keep up the good work!
