Tufts Undergrad Transfer Supplemental Essays (REAL Program for non-traditional students)

Hello,

I appreciate you looking over my two essays to provide your feedback. Any feedback would be tremendously helpful! Thank you!

Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: "Why Tufts?" (Required length is 50-100 words)

It's all about Tufts' dual-degree program.

Some of my most interesting, well-rounded, and influential friends attend Tufts. When they enthusiastically rave about their experiences with Tufts' extracurricular activities, research opportunities, inspirational professors, and the pride they have for Tufts, my heart knows that Tufts is a school where everyone subliminally earns a second degree in dynamics of meaningful life.

Also, the accommodations and resources available for non-traditional students would allow me to get the full Tufts experience and education that I dream of, and it all happens to be in the city I've always wanted to call home.

There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood or community-and how it influenced the person you are today. (Required length is 200-250 words)

When I was a child, I wasn't always a typical boy. It was the norm for boys to be playing with action-figures or fighting each other with plastic swords, but I preferred to play "so-kup-jang-nan" - a popular game among girls that resembled a real-life version of "The Sims".

In the game, the dad was a merchant who sold scotch tape, chopsticks, and expensive-looking objects we found around the house. His store was under the dining table, and we were his customers. I always wanted to be the mom, because I loved to nurture the family with my deliciously prepared plastic potatoes and carrots. The child and the dog - which we named "Mini" - sometimes helped the mom cook and clean. We were one happy family. We were always a happy family. It's the only type of family I knew how to replicate, because I grew up with the privilege of having warm, loving, and compassionate parents

Fast-forward to now - I have absolutely no confusion about my gender, but there is something that will never change: My motherly instincts. What does this mean, you ask?

Something about my hard work directly transforming into smiles of others is more rewarding to me than anything else. When we combine passion, humanity, and knowledge, it becomes one of the most realistic superpowers that exist in our universe that can defeat any obstacles getting in the way of doing the right things. It is the superpower that gave me the courage to start a brand new journey in the healthcare field, and love every single second of it.

Dear Kev510,

It is a pleasure to be reading your essay and working with you.

The answer for the first prompt is a bit weak. Anyone could have written that answer. To me, it seems that you want to attend Tufts because of your friends and how they rave about it. You can certainly stick with this answer, but I want you to do more research in your school's website. You name the following in your essay:

extracurricular activities, research opportunities - What extracurricular activities are you interested in? What research opportunities interest you? What kind of research would you like to be a part of?

accommodations and resources - What accommodations and resources?

The answer is too vague. Do some research on what they have to offer and implement it in your essay. It will strengthen the essay, but also, it will show the school why you are interested in them.

Second prompt:

Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood or community-and how it influenced the person you are today.

I don't think you answered the question correctly. Who are you today? What kind of person are you today? What experiences influenced you in the person you are today? The way your parents raised you? Your home life? Your neighborhood? Or community?

I like the last paragraph. I want you to elaborate more on it. How did your work transform into the smiles of others? What kinds of things did you do? How did you learn about passion and humanity? Give me more.

Perhaps the stuff that you cut out is the stuff that they want to see. For the first essay, instead of raving about your friend's experiences at the college, why don't you list a few of the things you are interested in. Get into detail. You can name one research program that interests you. How will this program help you? What can you bring to the table?

Or you can name an extracurricular activity that hits your heart. While I like your enthusiasm in the essay, it just doesn't cut it. I want you to be human yes, but show me more excitement in something specific within Tufts. I am sure you can come up with either a research interest, or extracurricular activity that excites you. Just be specific about one or two things that interest you.

For example you wrote this: everyone subliminally earns a second degree in dynamics of meaningful life. How? How do you know this? How can you achieve this?

Just be a little more specific in any idea you write about. If you are interested in a specific research activity, name it! Talk about how it excites you and how it will help you achieve your goals, etc. The same goes with anything you write. Dig deeper.

As for the length, just write about one or two things that are meaningful to you and get right to the point of why it interests you.