"my tutoring classes during high school" - Help with college application essay

Hello!

This is an essay for my college application, please help me to improve it and I accept any suggestions!

I find it pleasant to help people. I am always willing to help in whatever I can. In my school time, I used to tutor my classmates in some subjects. Even though I did receive a little or no money for these things, the gratitude and grades improvement of my classmates were the best pay I got.

I can surely say that learning and teaching are my passions since I was a child. My brother and some toys were my students in an imaginary class arranged in my bedroom. It wasn't just a game. My passion for learning and teaching grew as I grew up. My intellectual curiosity led me to spend hours reading about several topics in science or solving math problems in game books. All this learning play opened my mind and gave me a deep understanding of the many ways things work.

I applied this concept while tutoring people. In a simple view I found out that people hate some subjects, like math, because of the complicated a problem could be for them. A deeper look inside the situation led me to the conclusion that many people do not understand complicated problems because they did not understand the simpler ones. In school we acquire knowledge in a gradual process like a chain; this allows students understand the many processes they can use to solve a problem. If a student does not understand one of the simple processes, then the knowledge chain breaks, turning it more and more difficult to understand the more complicated problems. The main problem students faced wasn't the lack of intellectual ability to solve the problems, but the ignorance or the forgetfulness of the basic math concepts. I tried not to go straight to the "complicated" problem to make a student understand it; instead I made him understand the basic concepts first without putting any pressure on him. My goal was not to make students just memorize concepts for a particular test and then forget all; rather, I wanted students understand the basic concepts and apply them to challenging math problems, in the test and after.

I began teaching some simple concepts such as proportion. Even though it seems to be a piece of cake, proportion was one of the biggest difficulties my classmates faced in chemistry problems. I compared the concept of proportion with everyday situations to make it more familiar to them with the simple law: the more you give, the more you get. I applied something similar with logic problems: silly phrases games to make students understand the certainty value. The tutoring sessions became more comfortable when we applied everyday concepts. Linking the concepts with everyday situations, which we remember all the time, is easier than learning by heart and forgetting them after exam.

The learning process was satisfying for both my classmates and me. With the time they realized they could solve more complicated problems without any help. I realized that the important thing was to teach a student gradually from the root of the problem, many times silly misunderstandings, to the problem itself. After that, they were clearly able to understand the problems as I did. Indeed, some of the students became capable to help other students with similar problems.

I would say that my tutoring classes during high school were successful. Some of my classmates increased their grades from an average 3 to a perfect 5 in math score to a complete and well done exam in chemistry and logic. Even though other students didn't improve their grades that dramatically, I could feel how they were understanding and even enjoying the studying experience. I still see ex classmates who ask me for help in university problems, and sometimes I am the one who learns from them. One of the nicest experiences I had was to share my knowledge, and, to encourage my classmates to be better than me. The best paying I received from them is to know that I was helpful for them.

Hi,

I find it pleasant to help people. I am always willing to help in whatever I can. In my school time, I used to tutorteach my classmates in some subjects. Even though I did receive a little or no money for these things, the gratitude and grades improvement of my classmates were the best pay I got.

I suggest;
I love helping others in whatever way I can, because it earns me a great self satisfaction. During my school days, I used to help my classmates in some subjects which I have mastered. It is not the money that compensated my labor because I helped them mostly free of charge. However their gratitude and improved performances at the examination made me feel happy and contented.

thanks!!

Alright Tamara, that first paragraph is boring and sort of monotone!! So, you are a smarty, a goodie goodie who likes to help other people with their work!! ha ha, well I can relate to that, and I'm glad you are here because we need a lot of people at EssayForum who help other students.

But look at how boring some of the sentences are:


You are a good student, so you might be too serious. If you look at your first 2 paragraphs, you might realize that you do not need to tell the reader everything about it... just tell the reader what she needs to know. Let her wonder.

Cut out some details, and say something unexpected... something bold.

This part is great: In a simple view I found out that people hate some subjects, like math, because of the complicated a problem could be for them. A deeper look ... because they did not understand the simpler ones. ----very impressive stuff, very specific and meaningful, worth my time to read.

I love the discussion about helping students with the basics as their foundation.

This is what I want you to add to the essay: silly phrases games

:-)

I would say that my tutoring classes during high school were successful. Some of my classmates increased their grades from an average 3 to a perfect 5 in math score to a complete and well done exam in chemistry and logic. ----- congratulations, very cool.

Hi,

I think you have good advice from Kevin. I re-phrased your ideas (para 2). See whether they are of any help;

My thirst for knowledge and passion for teaching stemmed from my childhood. As a child, I loved reading and solving math problems. I also can recall how I turned my bed room into a small classroom and acting the role of the teacher to my students who were my younger brother and the toys. I believe such play acts contributed in a great way for me to develop my ability to present more difficult and complicated problems in a more understandable and conceivable manner.

thanks guys! it really helps me a lot! im not a native speaker, and even writting an essay in my language is so difficult! and Kevin, I will try your advice :')