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UBC personal profile - who am I? My natural ability and determination.


celinehb 1 / -  
Oct 2, 2019   #1

the "one-knows-all" kid



Tell us about who you are. How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why.

Of all the insecurities and struggles of life, something I know for sure is my enthusiast, striving to chase my dream of being an ambassador.

I am the "one-knows-all" kid that you might find as it is regarded by most of my teachers and friends. With some natural ability and determination, I outperform many others academically and non-academically of attaining several scholarships and awards and participated in various competitions. At home, I am considered an independent person by my family members of taking responsibilities and considerations over issues with my strong personality and a decisive mind.

Both my teachers and parents share their high expectations of me that I almost collapse under the pressure but my life goal of perfection never allowed me to give up.

I am not perfect and I never will be but stopping before trying is not within my remit

Send help guys

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Oct 2, 2019   #2
@celinehb
Hey, welcome to the forum. I'm here to provide you with feedback on this writing. I hope this somehow helps you!

Firstly, the written text lacks a bit of emphasis on the general theme of the work. While I noticed that you had an ambiguous sentence as your front runner in the discussion, you still could have opted for a more straightforward approach to the text. Consider talking immediately about the answer to the question posed instead of making a creative remark. This will help you crystallize the writing in a better light.

Moreover, the second paragraph needs to be more specific. While it was great that you had integrated all of these positive attributes, you lacked explaining what these are. What are these scholarship and competitions? Describe how you feel before and after experiencing all of this. If you can compose a more structure approach to this text, it would certainly be beneficial for the entirety of your writing.

Remember that being specific goes a long way.


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