Essay: The personal statements are a very important part of your application. They assist the university in knowing you as an individual, independent of test scores and other objective data. We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer than a total of 500 words or 7000 characters for both statements combined. The best personal statements are not necessarily the longest ones.
1. If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
2. How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?
3. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
4. What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
1. For the majority of my upbringing, I had an overall stress -free life growing up. However, with one horrible accident, my family's life completely changed. Sunday August 17, 2008 was the most unfortunate day of my life, and it happened to be the day before I began my 8th grade year. At around 5:00 in the morning, I was awoken by my older brother, who was screaming that we had to get out of the house. When I opened my eyes, everything was hazy and I was very disconcerted. It took me a few seconds to realize that, as I passed by the kitchen to get to the front door, my kitchen was on fire. About five to ten minutes passed before a police officer and fire truck arrived. In that time, I could see that my dad was very emotionally distressed. I knew that I had to be strong mentally for both my dad and my brother. Not once did I cry, because the only thing on my mind was giving my family all the support I could possibly give. As a result of this experience, I became a stronger person. Most people thought that this road bump in my life would affect my school work, and it did, but not negatively. I became more studious, responsible, and I worked even harder to obtain straight A's. My goal was to do the best I possibly could for myself and to make my family proud because of all they have done for me.
I'm working on number 2 right now, but this is my first draft essay. If anyone has any constructive criticism, I gladly welcome it! Thanks for reading :)
It's really good, but I feel that you should probably take out the first sentence.
You should probably start your essay with, Around 5;00 in the morning , on August 17, 2008, I was awoken by my older brother, who was screaming that we had to get out of the house.
I like how you put voice into your essay, as well as what you learned.
You might also consider changing;I could see that my dad was very emotionally distressed. I knew that I had to be strong mentally for both my dad and my brother. Not once did I cry, because the only thing on my mind was giving my family all the support I could possibly give.
Maybe make it shorter, or add more detail, it's more your opinion as to what you want the reader to think. Do you want them to feel the amount of stress you went through or, what you learned from this experience.
You might also want to think about adding the effect as to what happened, other than academic wise, just a suggestion.
Good Luck!!
Those are good suggestions, I'll definitely revise it. Thanks a lot, this really helps :)
One more thing, try to look at someone else's essay, for college, this might help brainstorming for number 3.
When reading there essay, try to think about the feeling they got through, this will help you add/ or take out details accordingly.
This will also, just help you see how others are doing it, and may give you a different way to approach the essay.
Good luck!!
post the paper whens it done please, i would like to read it, being I have to do this essay in about 5 yrs, for the college I choose to attend, that is.
PLEASE READ MY PAPER I WROTE!!!
