UCF-Unique Qualities Essay for my Application

What unique qualites or characteristics do you posess that will allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
INTRO
I possess many characteristics that will allow me to positively contribute to the UCF community. These characteristics are passion, honesty, responsibility and leadership. Passion is what motivates me to be the best that I can be in all aspects of my life. My passion will allow me to excel at UCF, in athletics as well as academics. My optimism will enhance the disposition of the individuals I may come in contact with. The leadership skills in which I possess will also be to guide my fellow classmate to maintain the high standards set forth by UCF.

PASSION
Passion is a unique characteristic that fuels a person to be their very best. My passion allows me to succeed in all aspects of my life, even when situations become difficult. This passion motivates me to keep working hard and keep moving forward. My passion has also brought with it great reward, I have been able to achieve great success in athletics as well as academics during my life.

OPTIMISM
Optimism is a characteristic of my personality that allows me to stay focused on what is truly important. In difficult situations I seek to find the greater reward instead of focusing on the negative. This optimism has allowed me to never settle into distress or depression but to remain a positive individual who enjoys reaching out to others to share my upbeat outlook on life. As a student at UCF I will be able to share my optimism with my fellow students. I can use my upbeat and positive personality to better the UCF experience for others by displaying and using kind words and actions.

LEADERSHIP
Being a leader is one of my greatest qualities. Naturally I am able to lead by example in everything that I do. Having a leadership quality has given me many experiences in which I am so very thankful for. During my senior year of high school I was given the opportunity to become the Student Government Association Vice President as well as the captain of my varsity cross country team. These leadership positions allowed me to make an influence on my high school as well as on my team mates. My role as a leader involved making and planning school events, and assisting my coach in any necessary tasks. My team looked to me for answers when they could not find them elsewhere, and my fellow students had faith in me to deliver excellent events. As a leader in the UCF community I would be able to guide my fellow students in any situation. I would be able to lead by example, and be open to learning new ways to motivate.

CONCLUSION
The unique qualities in which I possess will allow me to benefit and contribute to the UCF community. My passion and desire to succeed will motivate me to be the best that I can be. As an optimistic person I can contribute to the people around me, and influence their lives in ways they may never have imagined. I will be able to bring a positive outlook into multiple areas of the UCF community. Being a strong leader at UCF will allow me to be a mentor to many individuals. As a final point, the characteristics of my personality will bring fresh encouraging essences to the University of Central Florida.

Hello! I think you have some great ideas here, but the college essay needs to be less formal! The admissions officers want to get to know you, and so I think you don't need a formal introduction and conclusion. Instead, use this space to tell a story or two to illustrate your characteristics. Can you combine two of the characteristics into one story? Remember, "show, don't tell"--this can be more like creative writing than you're currently making it, and that's how your application will really stand out. Good luck!