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UIUC essay#2 Volunteering in Olympics

ludao822 2 / 2  
Oct 22, 2009   #1
Please criticize hard and I need every advice.THank You!

Holding an Olympic Game has always been a dream of every Chinese people, and it was not fulfilled until the exalting time when the IOC President Jacques Rogge declared that Beijing China had won the right to host the Olympic Games in 2008. My enthusiasm for what I could do for my nation and ethnic group was overwhelming, so I participated in this grand event and volunteered as a translator for English. I felt that it was my duty and honor to join the cosmopolitan party and play an active role in it. I was a group leader and our job was to settle the assigned place near the National Stadium and solve every kind of problems asked by people who came by. The work was monotonous to a sense. Nevertheless, it was very pleasant for us to be able to help people and share their joy. Our slogan was "The volunteers' smiles are the best scenery of Beijing", so people's smiling faces were technically our motivation for continuing to work with patience, pride and passion. It was the first time I had ever officially worked with others in such an event as a leader, and I learnt a lot about leadership skill, team work and group spirit. Most importantly, I have learnt skills in life which no textbook could ever guide without my own experiencing and experimenting, and I appreciate my chance of having a preview of how work is done in the real world out of school, which will quite probably be the situation I will encounter several years later when I set foot out of college campus. No matter what I will major in and no matter what job I will occupy, communication skills will be crucial, which is exactly what this experience has reminded me.
lmy125 4 / 12  
Oct 22, 2009   #2
Hi I'm form China too.

I think you have mades some grammar errors.. try to correct them by read it loudly :)

The work was monotonous to a sense.

you mean to some extent?

I think you might want to elaborate how you commited to volunteer jobs and how you learned the things you listed.

best luck :)

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