Could anyone proofread my supplement essay to Umich? Please feel free to point out grammar mistakes and revise structures and sentences!
Essay #2 (Required for all applicants. 500 words maximum) Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate college or school (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?
To me, mathematics generates from subtlety: a set of swaying Mikado, an illusion painting of M. C. Escher, and a delicate Rail Fence Cipher. My childhood, like any other that of kids in China, was stuffed with Olympic Mathematics books. While escaping the stereotype of solving unrealistic problems in front of the desk, I happened to discover the beauty of mathematics, the only trace I had known to embrace the mystery of nature, by sketching golden ratio human bodies, digging into game theory in chesses, and solving ancient Chinese nine serial.
Encountering high school physics and chemistry earlier than my peers, I grew up with a sense that every single angle of science (and sometimes even art) comes from mathematics. I haven't abstracted the essence of it then (even until now I cannot say I have), but I came to be passionate about the tons of possibilities mathematics can be applied to, and firmly believe that all the mysteries can be solved by it. This is when computers as a bridge to materialize mathematical ideas come in. From the algorithms of the heavy set of Turing's Bomb to the core brain of Alphago, technology exemplifies that its development through last century emerged in the hand of mathematicians. Imperatively awaits to make dreams come true, I believe that the Mathematics major in Literature, Science, and the Arts (LSA) in University of Michigan provides me the most opportunities to explore and expand.
In the Mathematical Sciences Program in the Mathematics Department, I would learn to make use of mathematics through my interest in computers. A source of creation rather than the pure tool, they could do far more than as an enlarged calculator with the help of mathematics. Courses like "Discrete and Algorithmic Methods" links cryptography and graph theory to the mathematics core of computer science. Me having participated in an advanced program in Information Retrieval in Tsinghua University, the significance of analytical methods taught in "Numerical and Applied Analysis" seems inevitable.
From what I saw in LSA, people are encouraged to share diverse perspectives, especially when applying science principles to real life. Roller derby gives Pro. Muller a vision to renew his experience as a mathematician; a graduate student Olivia Walch combines math and comics to demonstrate math rules. Moreover, Theme Semesters in U-M integrate all the students to consider a more generalized issue with their majoring interest in a broad perspective, in which I could put my years of training in researching, synthesizing and lab experimenting into use.
U-M, in general, is inclusive. I can seek the serenity while wandering through summer art fair and slip into Burton Memorial Tower to enjoy an Annual Organ Improvisation Competition; I can drift along the Huron River and hop onto the blue bus just on Michigan Time. If I could be immersed in the Cat Hole, I would be proud to bleed blue and yellow.
Hello, reedyharbour!
Your essay is very good, but I would give you corrections for your essay
1. digging into game theory in chesses (chess ), and solving ancient Chinese nine serial. It appears that chesses is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural.
2. In the University of Michigan. The geographic name University of Michigan may require a definite article before it.
3. provides me with the most opportunities to ...It appears that you are missing a preposition with the verb provides
4. .., synthesizing and lab experimenting into (with ) use. It appears that into is not the right preposition to use in this context.
Thank you
