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unc long essay (my math teacher)



qzhang 2 / 2  
Dec 28, 2008   #1
Out of the handful of teachers that have influenced me throughout my high school career, I sincerely believe that the sole teacher that has made the greatest impact on my life is my math teacher, David Bell. During my time in his class, Mr. Bell has not only taught me math, but also important values, such as practicing honesty and integrity in one's work. Moreover, Mr. Bell influenced me to pursue my goals and to tackle difficult challenges. In essence, he has grown to be not only my math teacher, but also my friend.

I first met Mr. Bell during my sophomore year, when I enrolled in his Pre-Calculus class. At the time, I saw him as just another simple math teacher, yet as the semester progressed, I began to view Mr. Bell as more than just my teacher. Every time I made an "A" on his test, he would personally recognize my achievement, either through a compliment or by writing a congratulatory card. Mr. Bell consistently delivers a great amount of attention to all his students, not only in math, but in every other aspect of his students' lives. As a matter of fact, it was Mr. Bell who recently began helping me with my online computer science class, as I was the only student in the entire school to enroll in this rigorous course. He knew that it would be a difficult challenge for me to pursue alone, so he personally took time out of his class to help me with certain aspects of the course.

Mr. Bell has been an inspiration to me, as he has inspired me to challenge myself. I clearly remember during the first semester in his classroom, Mr. Bell talked to me after school about a low test grade I had received in his class. His words of encouragement always lifted my spirit and inspired me to strive to do better. Even after I had received a test or project grade that reflected the work I had put into it, Mr. Bell often told me about how much more I could be if only I challenged myself for the better. Because of his encouragement, I pursued my interest in engineering after my junior year by enrolling in a summer engineering camp.

Looking back on the four years of my high school career, because of Mr. Bell, I know that I have become a stronger person--an individual who is not afraid to tackle the challenges life has in store. I know that throughout my years in high school the one person that inspired and encouraged me throughout my high school career was my math teacher and dear friend, Mr. Bell. The lessons he has taught me, such as challenging oneself as well as having pride in one's work, will always go with me. I someday hope to repay Mr. Bell for all the priceless lessons he has taught me throughout the time I had the pleasure of taking his classes."

please comment && suggestions are welcomed

Angela629 9 / 86  
Dec 28, 2008   #2
it's pretty good, your essay about your favorite teacher.

but i think you missed a part, you mentioned he is your friend, but I don't see how or what makes him your friend.

P.S if you don't mind, i think this is a very typical chinese essay. i'm a chinese myself, but after going through different types of education, i think this essay is very complementary. it doesn't and wouldn't stand out from the rest of the people applying to this college, i think. maybe you should write some examples that would make your essay unique rather than duplicate.

angela
OP qzhang 2 / 2  
Dec 28, 2008   #3
no your right thank you I believe that I do need to go into more detail to distinguish this essay from the thousands of essays sent


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