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Undergrad Application - Waterloo, Canada


Ritika 1 / -  
Mar 10, 2007   #1
Question - Write something about yourself

Answer - I am someone who is always wanting to move forward and do something in life. I want to get the best in what I do. I am a very friendly person who loves interacting with new people and exploring different things in life. I completed my 12 th grade in June 2006 and then decided to give myself some time to think for myself and find out my true interests. I came to a conclusion that Accounting and Finance would be my area of specialization. In reaching this decision I was very motivated by my father who is a qualified CA.

My grade 12 marks have been very supportive as I scored A's in all. This has given me confidence and conviction that I have the skills and capabilities to pursue an international course. However I feel that there is a lot more which needs to be done to move ahead and if accepted by Waterloo I will definitely be able to achieve what I want. I have been involved in many camps in different IT companies. Through these camps I have learned about corporate processes such as management, recruitment etc. I also have a keen interest in art & design and my paintings have been appreciated by many and I would definitely want to continue it as my hobby. Sports has also been something in which I have been involved for many years. I have played tennis and golf. I was also a member of my school throw-ball and basketball team. I feel that along with education it is important for one to be involved in extra curricular activities like sports. Being the vice captain of my house in BIS, I was able to display my leadership skills.

As said by Francie Larrieu Smith that "the most important thing about motivation is goal setting" I would be delighted to be accepted by the University as it will help me pursue my goal .An offer from the AFM program will leave me with one choice only, which is to enroll myself into it. A positive reply from Waterloo is something I am looking forward to.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Mar 11, 2007   #2
Greetings!

You've written a fine essay! I have just a few small suggestions for you.

Your essay is very general. "Accounting and Finance" is a fairly broad area; do you have any specific goals about what you'd like to do? Your middle paragraph gets a little more specific, but it's still rather general. What type of painting do you do? What is BIS? Which IT companies have you worked with?

"I want to get the best in what I do." - This is a little awkward-sounding.

As said by Francie Larrieu Smith that "the most important thing about motivation is goal setting" I would be delighted to be accepted by the University as it will help me pursue my goal .- This could be written more smoothly. How about something like this: Francie Larrieu Smith said that "the most important thing about motivation is goal setting." I have set my goals and I look forward to accomplishing them through the University of _____."

Best of luck to you!

Thanks.

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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