"When I came to Canada..." - additional info - university of waterloo

In addition to the specific information requested in all of the AIF questions, please tell us anything else about yourself that you would like us to know when we review your application.(900 character limit)

When I came to Canada two years ago, I faced much adversity like many other newcomers. Not only did I have difficulties understanding lessons and communicating with other people, I also found it very tough to get used to the cultural differences. For example, it took me a long time to learn not to avoid eye contact with teachers because the lack of eye contact is a sign of disrespect in Canada, which is opposite to my culture. I felt stressed and anxious, while I was trying to survive these physical and psychological challenges that I encountered. I tried to get involved in many extracurricular activities, where I was able to meet people who shared my love in music and math. As time went by, I found myself being surrounded by many friends. With their help, I started to make progress gradually. Although I still make some mistakes now, I am feeling more confident than ever.

wow its really good the only thing is that i think you should rephrase the last line,

Great essay, but i think you could remove the commas in the sentences "I felt stressed..." and "I tried to get involved..."

I agree with baboo, maybe rephrase the last sentence to "Although I still make some mistakes now, I feel more confident than ever/before"

Wow, this is so interesting. If I had to go to a culture where it is disrespectful to make eye contact, I think I would offend a lot of people. I would not be able to remember to avoid eye contact! :-)

The ending is great. I love that sentence. Here, I'll make a little change:
Although I still make some mistakes now , I am feeling more confident than ever.