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Unity is what brings about knowledge and a second home UPENN ESSAY



tehfunkicookie 19 / 49  
Dec 22, 2011   #1
HEY GUYS!! I need help on my UPENN essay! I'm turning it in very soon, and i need some opinions of it. Please be as hard as you like =)

PROMPT:
Required for all applicants: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community? (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words.)

One of the unique attributes that attracted me to apply to UPENN was its unity. Although it is very hard to create a close community within a large private university, UPENN is able to bring about, define, and exemplify what unity is through its ongoing traditions, unique student life, and intense passion for learning. From Toast throwing to Econ Scream, students are able to participate and work together to not only learn but to also have fun. Being like a very large and diverse family, everyone can work with each other and seek their own unique talents while working individually on unique projects. While walking down Locust Walk, the question isn't " Hey, will I see you again?", but it's "Hey, when am I going to bump into you again today before I go to class?".

With this, what I hope to learn is to be able to work with others on a more professional level and to develop my own social and leadership abilities. Because of the close relationships not only between professors and students but within students themselves, I can practice and gain real experience while having fun in working on difficult group projects. The communication skills and experience I harvest will not only benefit me when working on multiple unique engineering projects but also allow me to flourish personally and intellectually. Furthermore, with interesting Cloak Devising and Fuel cell engineering research that UPENN offers, I will be able to gain the hands on experience necessary in order for me to excel in engineering and define UPENN's goal of "true learning".

From the skills and knowledge that I develop from UPENN's unity, I can effectively execute my responsibilities and greatly influence the less-experienced engineers at UPENN. Furthermore, I hope to design and contribute my unique engineering ideas and engines to contribute to the school's leadership in math and engineering.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Dec 22, 2011   #2
...private university, UPENN is able to bring about, define, and exemplify what unity is, through its ongoing traditions, unique student life, and intense passion for learning.

From Toast throwing to Econ Scream, students are able to participate and work together to not only learn, but also to have fun.

While walking down Locust Walk, the question isn't "H ey, will I see you again?", but it's "Hey, when am I going to bump into you again, today before I go to class?"

With this, What I hope to learn is to be able to work with others on a more professional level and to develop my own social and leadership abilities.

Because of the close relationships not only between professors and students but within students themselves, I can practice and gain real experience while having fun in working on difficult group projects.

The communication skills and experience I harvest will not only benefit me when working on multiple unique engineering projects, but will also allow me to flourish personally and intellectually.

Furthermore, with the interesting Cloak Devising and Fuel cell engineering research that UPENN offers, I will be...

:)
hahahohohe 1 / 16  
Dec 23, 2011   #3
hmm thats abit too much to chow down for conclusion isnt it.
I didnt see u talking about math in your previous paragraph.

Your essay is fine in my opinion. perhaps expand the part on how you're going to contribute to the Penn community?


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