Univeristy of Texas Essay- Essay E

I would like any help you are willing to give and any criticism's
Thank you in advance

Here is the topic
Choose an issue of importance to you the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

When you ask a person my age, why did you vote for the person you did? Most of the time you will hear, I didn't vote this year. On the slim chance they voted it's not because of their stance on immigration but rather you hear because he has a nice face or because I think I can chill with that guy. The rising political apathy in my generation is not only affecting their district and state, but it affects the whole generation.

All Politician's vote for a bill he doesn't think how it will affect his district, but rather he thinks of how it will help him in the next election. When the elderly and the baby boomers are the one voting, the politician will pass bill's to impact them, such as social secretary and Medicare. The politician will rarely pass a bill to help lower the cost of colleges if it will affect the elderly.

When you ask a person my age, why did you vote for the person you did? A majority tells you they didn't vote or they voted because they guy looks great on television. That is the reason why there is no bill helping lowering the cost college, but there are bills which help improve the life of the elderly.

Why do you mention this topic specifically? It's an important issue, of course, but hopefully you would look at a candidate's stance on a wide range of issues before voting . . .

Also, this essay doesn't say enough about you, which is a distinct weakness in an application essay. Where do you think this political apathy comes from? How do you respond to it? Has it affected you? If so, how? If not, why not? What do you think can/should be done about this? Etc.

thanks

New and Improved version

When you ask a person my age, why did you vote for the person you did? Ninety percent of the time you will hear, I didn't vote this year. On the slim chance they voted it is not because of their stance certain issues, but rather you hear he has a nice face or because I think I can chill with that guy. The rising political apathy in my generation is not only affecting themselves, but it impacts the district and the state, but it affects the whole generation.

There are several affects for the rise of political apathy in the younger generation. One is when politician votes for a bill he doesn't think how it will affect his district, but rather he thinks of how it will help him in the next election. When the elderly and the baby boomers are the one voting, the politician will pass bill's to impact them, such as social secretary and Medicare. The politician will rarely pass a bill to help lower the cost of colleges if it will affect the elderly. The other affect is that a politician will stay in power for an extremely long time, because most voters only vote because of name recognition and gives the challenger a very slim chance of winning.

A year ago during, the presidential campaign, I volunteered and tried to improve voter turnout for people around my age. In my experience I noticed that many people in my generation are so apathetic toward politics because they know so little about politics itself. A small amount of people my age watch or read the news religiously and have a very slim knowledge of what each politician stands for. Even for the religious news follower gets very little and sometimes bias information form ten second sound bites. There are some sites, such as rockthevote.com, which makes politics interesting by blending pop culture and states politician's specific beliefs on certain issues.

When you ask a person my age, why did you vote for the person you did? A majority tells you they didn't vote or they voted because they guy looks great on television. That is the main reason why very little has been done to lower the cost of college dramatically. The way to improve political apathy is by informing them about each Politician and their stance on important issues.