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'Not all universities are the same / Representing team and city' - UCF admissions



bakerk95 1 / 1  
Nov 4, 2012   #1
Essay: The personal statements are a very important part of your application. They assist the university in knowing you as an individual, independent of test scores and other objective data. We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer than a total of 500 words or 7000 characters for both statements combined. The best personal statements are not necessarily the longest ones.

1If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
2How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?
3Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
4What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?Why did you choose to apply to UCF?


#3 Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

While touring universities this summer, all of the universities seemed to be the same. Not a single university distinguished itself from another. That was until I toured the University of Central Florida. As soon as I stepped upon the campus, I had a feeling like this university would be the one the break away from the pack. The campus is single handedly the most beautiful campus I have ever seen. All of the facilities are outstanding, and the academic opportunities at UCF are exemplarily compared to other universities.

As a huge sports enthusiast, I already knew that UCF had amazing sports programs that are respected across Florida and the United States. This is a perfect fit for me because I desire to go into the Athletic field of professions one day and I feel like UCF would be able to give me the best opportunity to succeed in that profession. All of the athletic internships that are available from UCF for Sports Management are more than I could want in a college.

#4 What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

In the 9th grade I tried out for the high school basketball team and made the team. I will never forget what my coach said before our first practice. He said: "Now that you have made this team, I want to let all of know something. You no longer represent yourself at this school, but you now represent this team and this city." I don't know why but for some reason that has always stuck with me though out high school. I took that same mentality and applied it to everything I have done. I strive to be the best person that I can be every day and try to represent my team, city, and family the best I can. I think this character quality that I possess allows me to contribute to the UCF community for the reason that I know if I am honored enough to be accepted into the University of Central Florida, they will be a part of me for the rest of my life and I will represent UCF and the community forever. There may be more applicants with higher test scores and better grades, but if I get the chance, I will do everything I can possibly do to succeed and become a strong contributing factor of the UCF community.

orthodoxyordeat - / 6  
Nov 4, 2012   #2
"and the academic opportunities at UCF are exemplarily compared to other universities. " should be: exemplary

"I desire to go into the Athletic field of professions one day" should be something like: "I desire to go into the field of sports management one day, and the internships that are available from UCF are more than I could ever hope for from a college."

I do have to say the part about " All of the facilities are outstanding, and the academic opportunities at UCF are exemplarily compared to other universities." sounds fairly rote and mechanical. I know you don't have much space to write with a low word count, but that sentence sounds "fake," and would be better replaced by a statement where you mention a specific facility or opportunity. For example, you might mention a Student Recreational center, or you might mention some unique opportunities offered in some UCF classroom.

Hope that helps a bit.
OP bakerk95 1 / 1  
Nov 6, 2012   #3
Thank you so much! And I understand what you mean by the 'fake' sentence. Thank you for the help though!


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