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University of Florida- My undergraduate essay on CAPD (feedback)


Gxfire 1 / 1  
Sep 23, 2012   #1
I have worked on this for weeks and want to know what is good, bad, and what can be improved.

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

Central Auditory Processing Disorder, CAPD, is a disorder, which I have had to deal with my whole life, that causes the brain to process auditory information differently. I recognize and interpret sounds differently from other people, especially the sounds composing speech. It is quite difficult for me to focus on one sound if there are multiple noises or random clamor. But, despite this challenge, I have been able to compensate by utilizing learning techniques such as: visual and, especially, physical activity.

English class is more difficult for me having to listen to speeches, and reading extensively. However, I still challenge myself by taking AP English classes which has helped me to find strategies to read and comprehend written text faster and increase my listening skills. Writing down anything that the teacher says and not being afraid to ask for repetition of instructions on more than the normal occasion has been one of my strategies to being successful. Therefore, math and science are my strengths since they are more hands on learning. Taking dual enrollment classes in algebra and economics at a local college is another way that has helped prepare me for college.

Although having CAPD could be a challenge in college, I have been successful in conquering it for seventeen years and achieving high grades throughout my high school years. This has enabled me to be in BETA club and National Honor Society. I have never used my disorder as an excuse in any of my classes; most of my teachers don't even know I have been diagnosed with it.

Putting myself in leadership roles such as President of my school's Key Club has helped me to learn to be organized through the many volunteer opportunities that I am involved in. Since one of my strengths is having a good ear for music and pure tones, I joined the marching and concert band. When I bring my therapy dogs to nursing homes and hospitals, I have to listen very well to the people that I am helping to make sure that I don't miss important information that could otherwise cause people to be unsatisfied or harmed. I also have to be very attentive and proactive at my house when watching over a foster dog to make sure that it does not harm itself or anything in the house.

I know I can contribute to the UF campus by showing that a disability is not a reason to say that something is impossible or too hard to overcome. My goal during my four years of high school has been to be a UF Gator. Through academic excellence, strong morals, extracurricular activities and community outreach I have learned to compensate and become a stronger person due to my disability, which will help me be a successful student at the University of Florida.

Thanks!
krys10x 1 / 5  
Sep 23, 2012   #2
Well spoken, if I do say so. You recognize your problem and explore how it has affected you and how you've overcome it.
But what exactly does the disorder do to what you hear? How do you interpret sounds differently? Going a little more indepth in that respect couldnt hurt you.

Also, consider changing
" I have been able to compensate by utilizing learning techniques such as: visual and, especially, physical activity. "
to something like
"I have been able to compensate by utilizing visual and physical learning techniques." or "By utilizing learning strategies like visual aids and especially physical techniques, I have been able to overcome CAPD."

Play around with the syntax to emphasize what you want to be emphasized. You original sentence was a bit awkward and confusing. (Activity is a bit general and gets confused with visual) Make it clear and concise. Keeping that in mind for the rest of your essay, it should smooth out nicely.

Best of luck!
sgagan - / 1  
Sep 24, 2012   #3
I have worked on this for weeks and want to know what is good, bad, and what can be improved.

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

Central Auditory Processing Disorder, CAPD, is a disorder, which I have had to deal with my whole life, that causes the brain to process auditory information differently. I recognize and interpret sounds differently from other people, especially the sounds composing speech. It is quite difficult for me to focus on one sound if there are multiple noises or random clamor. But, despite this challenge, I have been able to compensate by utilizing learning techniques such as: visual and, especially, physical activity.

English class is more difficult for me having to listen to speeches, and reading extensively. However, I still challenge myself by taking AP English classes which has helped me to find strategies to read and comprehend written text faster and increase my listening skills. Writing down anything that the teacher says and not being afraid to ask for repetition of instructions on more than the normal occasion has been one of my strategies to being successful. Therefore, math and science are my strengths since they are more hands on learning. Taking dual enrollment classes in algebra and economics at a local college is another way that has helped prepare me for college.

Although having CAPD could be a challenge in college, I have been successful in conquering it for seventeen years and achieving high grades throughout my high school years. This has enabled me to be in BETA club and National Honor Society. I have never used my disorder as an excuse in any of my classes; most of my teachers don't even know I have been diagnosed with it.

Putting myself in leadership roles such as President of my school's Key Club has helped me to learn to be organized through the many volunteer opportunities that I am involved in. Since one of my strengths is having a good ear for music and pure tones, I joined the marching and concert band. When I bring my therapy dogs to nursing homes and hospitals, I have to listen very well to the people that I am helping to make sure that I don't miss important information that could otherwise cause people to be unsatisfied or harmed. I also have to be very attentive and proactive at my house when watching over a foster dog to make sure that it does not harm itself or anything in the house.

I know I can contribute to the UF campus by showing that a disability is not a reason to say that something is impossible or too hard to overcome. My goal during my four years of high school has been to be a UF Gator. Through academic excellence, strong morals, extracurricular activities and community outreach I have learned to compensate and become a stronger person due to my disability, which will help me be a successful student at the University of Florida.

Thanks!


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