I'm not sure how this is. It's quite honest and I'm not the type to suck up with the "oh, I love the campus, and the people and bla bla bla." Any suggestions? Would like them ASAP so that I can send this in. Thank you!!
What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? Please limit your response to the space provided.(500 Characters max.)
Yale appealed to me as a university that has great regard for the students. As someone who values education, I believe that Yale is the ideal place for me to discover my full potential as both an individual and a student. The rigorous program of study, notable faculty, and competitive environment at Yale will provide the academically demanding experience that I strive for. I aim to break out of my comfort zone, expand my interests and participate in classes that I never had the option to take.
I guess you could be a bit more specific on your answer. I mean, for example, what gives you the impression that Yale "has great regard for the students"?
Also, "I believe that Yale is the ideal place for me to discover my full potential as both an individual and a student" is too trite of a sentence - thousands of kids out there are probably saying the same stuffs to every college they apply to.
I know it's hard to handle with this tiny word limit, but try ur best to show some hints of your personality. The last sentence sounds fine - it should be the general idea of this whole answer.
I think you need to make this more personal. Also make sure you write something about that is different from other schools and why it appeals to you.
I think this is pretty good in general but if this is the school that you really wanted to attend then you should make it a little more personal and elaborate on one thing that the school appeals to you because of the word limit.
You must make this personal and not generic. It seems like something you could say about any college if you replace Yale with __________.
try to include a professor maybe?
The newsletter I mention has been described in the CommonApp short answer question, therefore I believe there will not be any confusion over the matter.
What do you think?
the edited version is a lot more personal and separates you from generic students
Final edit. The previous one didn't fit.
Attending small schools in impoverished countries has limited my opportunities to explore my interests and attain my full potential. Striving for a challenge, I began publishing a newsletter for my school so as to nurture my interest in journalism.The outstanding liberal arts education at Yale will expand my knowledge and Yale's journalism program will provide a unique opportunity to gain hands on experience in the field of journalism by participating in internships and writing for publications.
Attending small schools in impoverished countries -- (name the countries) -- has limited...
I also think this sentence should be followed by a sentence that gives an example of the circumstances at those schools -- something interesting to illustrate what was not available to you at these schools, or what was wrong with them.
In that last sentence, it will be nice to refer to a specific goal that Yale will help you to achieve -- a goal to achieve during the net few years, while you are a student there.
