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University of Miami transfer objectives essay - my reasons for choosing UM and the major psychology

selintanriverdi 1 / -  
Feb 26, 2018   #1
Down here is my supplement essay about my objectives for transfer. It is due in 4 days, and any and all help is appreciated and your favor will be returned if you need! Thank you so much!

Essay prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

UM can help me fulfill all of my aspirations

While studying psychology at the University of South Florida, I participated in various research projects and observed the research environment first-hand. The knowledge and experiences I earned in the lab resonate with my initial reasons for choosing psychology as my major: Whether it be an individual or a larger group, I wish to investigate the reasons people act a certain way, their mental processes, and the ways we could predict and thus prevent harmful thinking patterns and behaviors before they arise as a major problem with an individual or a group. I seek to get an extensively enriching education towards this goal. That is why I wish to be a part of the comprehensive and challenging psychology program offered at the University of Miami. I believe that the rigorous academics, research opportunities, and the guidance of proficient instructors at UM will provide insight and knowledge that I need to gain proficiency in my field, and also prepare me for future challenges I will encounter in my occupation. With a world-class education from UM, I would feel confident that I could build a rewarding career after graduation.

The extracurricular and involvement opportunities at UM also fit my needs and interests. The polyphonic choir and the orchestra I attended in high school thought me how to be a team player and provided me with invaluable friendships and experiences. I want to get involved with musical and artistic events in college as well, besides other extracurricular activities. In my freshman year, I took the English Composition I class and discovered my passion for writing. This year I am taking many other writing-intensive courses such as Critical Thinking, Introduction to Literature, and Composition II which allow me to further develop and enhance my writing skills. With the Arts & Sciences Magazine at UM, I would have the opportunity to share my work with an intellectual community and seek their feedback. With UM's wide variety of clubs and organizations, I would have numerous opportunities to express myself and contribute to the school spirit.

Besides the prestigious academics and abundant involvement opportunities, UM's diverse and intellectual student body is another element that I aspire to be a part of. As I visited the campus several times, I realized the beauty of the diversity and the vibrant school spirit at The U. I was deeply impressed with the hospitality of the people on campus and the legendary school spirit. I believe that it is an imperative part of college for us students to interact with people from different backgrounds, gain insights from other's lives and cultures, expand our view of the world and create a productive environment with the harmony of our personas and individual strengths. Because only then we can genuinely experience the status of being a well-educated individual: a person who is able to express and defend arguments efficiently, truly relate to people and serve as a loyal team player. That is why I chose to study abroad in the first place, because I know for a fact that I will never be, neither intellectually nor spiritually, satisfied with the limited world of the familiar. With the diverse and vigorous student body of UM, I would have many chances to share the same interests, goals, backgrounds or ambitions with the community -and if not nothing else, our minds and thoughts.

It is apparent that UM can help me fulfill all of my aspirations. The comprehensive academics at UM would be an invaluable source for the knowledge I seek. Besides theory, UM would also provide me with numerous opportunities such as research, extracurricular and community service projects for me to experience and practice what I had learned. Seeing that UM would be the most beneficial guide through my intended journey, I feel ready and motivated to put all my efforts to such a dynamic environment: both as a hard-working student and a devoted part of the community.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4799  
Mar 1, 2018   #2
Selin, your essay fails you where you require it the most. That is, in the academic reason for your transfer. The essay should be more about a discussion of your academic goals rather than the extra curricular and other activities which make up 90% of the essay at the moment. Those are not the vital considerations for your transfer to UM and should therefore be reduced to a single paragraph towards the end of the essay. The essay should be composed of at least a 75 - 80 % discussion of the academic reasons you have for the transfer. A comparison of the classes offered at the University of Florida that do not align with your interests, as compared to the classes offered at UM that allow you to achieve your academic goals would be a good start to the essay. Explain the reasons where University of Florida failed you ( in your opinion) as a student and why UM seems to have the potential to support your academic growth instead.

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