Instructions:
Please answer the following question in approximately 400 words.
Please describe your interests and aspirations in engineering.
What experiences have influenced you?
I'm a non-native English speaker and this is the first time I write an essay.
I will really, really appreciate it if you guys can give me any advice on the content, grammar or collocations of my essay.
Here is my essay (416 words):
When I was a child, the mystery of numbers and the complicated configuration of toy widgets appealed to me more than anything else. Although I am a sophomore now, my experience in National Innovation Experiment Program for University Students (NIEP) makes me realize that my quest for the creation of things never fades. As Albert Einstein said, "Scientists investigate which already is; Engineers create which has never been", it is my aspiration for creation that motivate me to devote in engineering.
In the last September, three friends of mine and I participated in the NIEP. The objectives of our program is to design and build up a Distance Multimode Control System of Household Appliances(DMCSHA). More specifically, we were trying to make it possible that you can turn on, turn off and regulate your household appliances by sending a text message to a certain number. For instance, you can use your cell phone to send a text message "turn on the water heater and set water temperature 110 degrees" to 123456 on your way home, and you can enjoy a hot bath as soon as you arrive home.
During the process of developing the DMCSHA, we were confronted with difficulties and formidable obstacles. The most frustrating one was that we couldn't find a suitable programming language to write a program that was recognizable for both computers and signal receivers. After referring to piles of documents in the library for possible alternatives, we tried every solution and found that VB is the desirable language. As the project programmer, I felt enormous satisfaction and a strong sense of accomplishment, seeing my program worked as expected. This sense of accomplishment is why I will choose the engineer, the creator and problem solver, as my future career.
The initial target of our project has been achieved so far. Now I can enter a command into the cell phone or the computer in the office to control a specific household appliance remotely. Our group, however, is not content with status quo and hopes to continue the development of DMCSHA. A further target is proposed that a voice recognition system should be added into the original system so that one can just make a call to control his household appliances. My current knowledge, nevertheless, is not sufficient to support the further development. To realize that, I'm need to learn more about the electrical engineering. Hopefully, the Department of Electrical Engineering of UM will teach me more and assist me in achieving that target.
Please answer the following question in approximately 400 words.
Please describe your interests and aspirations in engineering.
What experiences have influenced you?
I'm a non-native English speaker and this is the first time I write an essay.
I will really, really appreciate it if you guys can give me any advice on the content, grammar or collocations of my essay.
Here is my essay (416 words):
When I was a child, the mystery of numbers and the complicated configuration of toy widgets appealed to me more than anything else. Although I am a sophomore now, my experience in National Innovation Experiment Program for University Students (NIEP) makes me realize that my quest for the creation of things never fades. As Albert Einstein said, "Scientists investigate which already is; Engineers create which has never been", it is my aspiration for creation that motivate me to devote in engineering.
In the last September, three friends of mine and I participated in the NIEP. The objectives of our program is to design and build up a Distance Multimode Control System of Household Appliances(DMCSHA). More specifically, we were trying to make it possible that you can turn on, turn off and regulate your household appliances by sending a text message to a certain number. For instance, you can use your cell phone to send a text message "turn on the water heater and set water temperature 110 degrees" to 123456 on your way home, and you can enjoy a hot bath as soon as you arrive home.
During the process of developing the DMCSHA, we were confronted with difficulties and formidable obstacles. The most frustrating one was that we couldn't find a suitable programming language to write a program that was recognizable for both computers and signal receivers. After referring to piles of documents in the library for possible alternatives, we tried every solution and found that VB is the desirable language. As the project programmer, I felt enormous satisfaction and a strong sense of accomplishment, seeing my program worked as expected. This sense of accomplishment is why I will choose the engineer, the creator and problem solver, as my future career.
The initial target of our project has been achieved so far. Now I can enter a command into the cell phone or the computer in the office to control a specific household appliance remotely. Our group, however, is not content with status quo and hopes to continue the development of DMCSHA. A further target is proposed that a voice recognition system should be added into the original system so that one can just make a call to control his household appliances. My current knowledge, nevertheless, is not sufficient to support the further development. To realize that, I'm need to learn more about the electrical engineering. Hopefully, the Department of Electrical Engineering of UM will teach me more and assist me in achieving that target.