Hello,
this is my essay for my transfer application to University of texas. Im currently a freshman in my second semester hoping to get into UT next fall.
I feel like I'm pushing it with the length, but I'm not sure what to cut out. is just under 900 words too long?
Any feedback is greatly appreciated, my application deadline is coming up quick! thanks so much, y'all are awesome.
Downtown Austin is a melting pot of culture. Birds of all feathers flock to the beautiful sites of the Capitol building, the bats emerging from underneath the Congress Bridge, and the many oddities that justify the signature 'Keep Austin Weird' catchphrase. As I drive down Cesar Chavez, glimpses of Town Lake framed with bright hues of green can be seen from the roadway. Feats of architecture stare down at me from the skyline, buildings that encompass the personality of my city with their variations in style and size. Frost bank sparkles in the distance and The Driskol's regal presence is not one to be ignored. It is in these familiar streets that I learned the values of hard work, motivation, and leadership. The importance of individuality became as clear as the waters of Barton Springs as I absorbed the culture I was surrounded with.
The summer after my sophomore year, I decided to join Austin Rowing Club. For the first time in my life, passion sparked. Five days a week, I could be spotted in one of the sleek sculling boats gliding down Town Lake. I was a moth and rowing was a light in the dark that I couldn't resist. Both mentally and physically exasperating, rowing was a labor of love. The utmost concentration was required to fall into a well-timed cadence with the other rowers in my boat, all of our oars gracefully prying the vessel through the water as one.
As the years passed and I moved from the novice team to varsity, crew became the most challenging and rewarding part of my life. The majority of my time was spent in Lady Bird's glimmering waters, which offered me a whole new perspective on a city I thought I was familiar with. I was soon absorbed into the culture of Austin. Every practice was like an in depth tour through the heart of the famed Texas capitol.
Protesters have marched above my head as I row under the bridges of Lady Bird Lake, transforming my conception of politics from a news story flashing on the television screen to a matter of relevance in my life. I learned the sleep schedule of the Mexican Free-Tailed Bats that live under Congress Bridge, watching them retreat with the sunrise and awake to a magenta sunset. History came to life as I learned about the landmarks that surrounded me, symbolizing Austin's rich past. To my left, Stevie Ray Vaughan's statue stood proudly on the shore, serving as my source of inspiration when the temptation of giving up overwhelmed me. To my right the Austin skyline beamed, unique as a fingerprint, materializing my growing individuality. My once nonexistent understanding of art and architecture flourished as I became exposed to it, and I became instantly entranced by the intricate designs put on display as if the city itself were a museum. Austin's legendary music scene unfolded at my feet, pleasing my naĂŻve ears with genres that I had never heard before.
Rowing exposed me to some of the greater aspects of life, simultaneously teaching me how to find my strengths in situations that seem beyond the realm of possibility. Physical performance is fleeting, but the mental strength that I developed constantly echoes the reminder that perseverance in the midst of adversity is applicable to all elements of success, in and out of the water. Like a lump of coal, I know that I must endure heat and pressure to one day become a diamond.
As I embarked on the next chapter of my life, I learned to assimilate myself into a culture of different proportions. My freshman year at the University of Texas at San Antonio fanned the spark of passion I felt for learning into an all-consuming fire. My eagerness to listen to my history professor lecture about the events that shaped our world was rivaled only by the excitement I felt when attending the presidential debates on campus with hundreds of my classmates. Being away from home helped me mature into a capable, self-reliant individual. I quickly learned the value of a dollar and the frustrations of a parking ticket. Like an alchemist turning metal to gold, I turned strangers into friends and blank pages into essays. During my time in San Antonio, I have learned lessons that will forever be imprinted on my character, but I believe the most valuable lesson I have learned is that I still have a lot to learn.
My experiences in both San Antonio and Austin have equipped me with the tools I need to make my cities proud of the person I become and the things I accomplish, and to continue to learn from every experience I am presented with. I will glide through the deep river of Opportunity, using the University of Texas as my boat and the ambition and passion I have developed as my oars. I will continue to paddle through both academic and personal obstacles just as I have paddled through the painful build-up of lactic acid at many regattas. Each stroke I take at UT will create a puddle in its wake and send ripples of influence through the water. As I row my way through college, the power to influence my surroundings is literally in my hands.
this is my essay for my transfer application to University of texas. Im currently a freshman in my second semester hoping to get into UT next fall.
I feel like I'm pushing it with the length, but I'm not sure what to cut out. is just under 900 words too long?
Any feedback is greatly appreciated, my application deadline is coming up quick! thanks so much, y'all are awesome.
Downtown Austin is a melting pot of culture. Birds of all feathers flock to the beautiful sites of the Capitol building, the bats emerging from underneath the Congress Bridge, and the many oddities that justify the signature 'Keep Austin Weird' catchphrase. As I drive down Cesar Chavez, glimpses of Town Lake framed with bright hues of green can be seen from the roadway. Feats of architecture stare down at me from the skyline, buildings that encompass the personality of my city with their variations in style and size. Frost bank sparkles in the distance and The Driskol's regal presence is not one to be ignored. It is in these familiar streets that I learned the values of hard work, motivation, and leadership. The importance of individuality became as clear as the waters of Barton Springs as I absorbed the culture I was surrounded with.
The summer after my sophomore year, I decided to join Austin Rowing Club. For the first time in my life, passion sparked. Five days a week, I could be spotted in one of the sleek sculling boats gliding down Town Lake. I was a moth and rowing was a light in the dark that I couldn't resist. Both mentally and physically exasperating, rowing was a labor of love. The utmost concentration was required to fall into a well-timed cadence with the other rowers in my boat, all of our oars gracefully prying the vessel through the water as one.
As the years passed and I moved from the novice team to varsity, crew became the most challenging and rewarding part of my life. The majority of my time was spent in Lady Bird's glimmering waters, which offered me a whole new perspective on a city I thought I was familiar with. I was soon absorbed into the culture of Austin. Every practice was like an in depth tour through the heart of the famed Texas capitol.
Protesters have marched above my head as I row under the bridges of Lady Bird Lake, transforming my conception of politics from a news story flashing on the television screen to a matter of relevance in my life. I learned the sleep schedule of the Mexican Free-Tailed Bats that live under Congress Bridge, watching them retreat with the sunrise and awake to a magenta sunset. History came to life as I learned about the landmarks that surrounded me, symbolizing Austin's rich past. To my left, Stevie Ray Vaughan's statue stood proudly on the shore, serving as my source of inspiration when the temptation of giving up overwhelmed me. To my right the Austin skyline beamed, unique as a fingerprint, materializing my growing individuality. My once nonexistent understanding of art and architecture flourished as I became exposed to it, and I became instantly entranced by the intricate designs put on display as if the city itself were a museum. Austin's legendary music scene unfolded at my feet, pleasing my naĂŻve ears with genres that I had never heard before.
Rowing exposed me to some of the greater aspects of life, simultaneously teaching me how to find my strengths in situations that seem beyond the realm of possibility. Physical performance is fleeting, but the mental strength that I developed constantly echoes the reminder that perseverance in the midst of adversity is applicable to all elements of success, in and out of the water. Like a lump of coal, I know that I must endure heat and pressure to one day become a diamond.
As I embarked on the next chapter of my life, I learned to assimilate myself into a culture of different proportions. My freshman year at the University of Texas at San Antonio fanned the spark of passion I felt for learning into an all-consuming fire. My eagerness to listen to my history professor lecture about the events that shaped our world was rivaled only by the excitement I felt when attending the presidential debates on campus with hundreds of my classmates. Being away from home helped me mature into a capable, self-reliant individual. I quickly learned the value of a dollar and the frustrations of a parking ticket. Like an alchemist turning metal to gold, I turned strangers into friends and blank pages into essays. During my time in San Antonio, I have learned lessons that will forever be imprinted on my character, but I believe the most valuable lesson I have learned is that I still have a lot to learn.
My experiences in both San Antonio and Austin have equipped me with the tools I need to make my cities proud of the person I become and the things I accomplish, and to continue to learn from every experience I am presented with. I will glide through the deep river of Opportunity, using the University of Texas as my boat and the ambition and passion I have developed as my oars. I will continue to paddle through both academic and personal obstacles just as I have paddled through the painful build-up of lactic acid at many regattas. Each stroke I take at UT will create a puddle in its wake and send ripples of influence through the water. As I row my way through college, the power to influence my surroundings is literally in my hands.
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