Please let me know the strengths and weaknesses of my response to the following question:
Extra-curricular activities can shape each individual's lifelong learning both inside and outside the classroom. What skills and interests have you developed through your extra-curricular involvement, volunteerism and/or work experience. Reflect on how your involvement in a particular activity may have shaped your plan to study your chosen program(s) at U of T Engineering. (250 words or less)
Response: Important skills I developed in extracurricular involvement include leadership, teamwork, communication, problem-solving and more. Ever since I was young, I developed an interest in chess and badminton, which led to participating in more extracurricular activities in high school, including volunteering, employment, clubs, tournaments, and more. One particular set of activities that shaped my goal to study ECE Engineering is developing programs and games. I attended development seminars to learn Lua, C++, and Java, which I used to create games on popular platforms such as Roblox Studio/Blender. I additionally used Arduino and programming experience to create interactive electric objects, such as a house light controller and an add-on to game development. In game development, I led a team of multiple people coordinating every aspect of our projects, where communication, teamwork, speaking and assertiveness were essential. My plan to pursue engineering stems from my passion for problem-solving and innovation, which was critical to game development and Arduino projects. We strived to create innovative programs and games, providing our audience with entertainment and the "wow factor." Additionally, my experience with conflict, leadership, teamwork and communication will complement my engineering studies in many scenarios, including discussing projects with my peers and participating in co-op work terms and the workplace. I have developed the skills required to succeed in U of T Engineering through my active engagement in extracurricular activities. They will allow me to take on any challenge encountered during my studies, independently and with a team.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15171 
4859 The response is too vague. It only skims the top of your experiences. There is no actual involvement narration in the essay, which is important to the reviewer. As you dictate your experience, you have to show actual application to prove that there is indeed an actual learning opportunity and setting for you. There are 250 words allowed for the completion of your response. Be as detailed as possible, without going over the word limit. The reviewer will use this response as a written interview basis. Therefore, you have to respond as you would in a face to face setting. The last part of the response is not an effective presentation because you are speaking of how you will apply these skills in the study setting. All the reviewer wants to know about is skills development. Stick to that reference point.
