University of Waterloo - what draw my attention there?

Looking for some helpful and specific feedback! Thanks.

UW's programs from my point of view

Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program please discuss your interest in each program. (900 character limit).

My educational goal is to gain in-depth knowledge and application skills on the fundamentals of CS so that I can become a proficient software developer in the future. I have applied to UW's CS program because of its focus on the study of software, algorithms, programming and the limits of computation. I believe that the program's aim can be applied effectively in software development. UW also offers many CS courses related to software which can improve my knowledge and skills. Other reasons why I'm applying to UW is because UW provides varieties of clubs, scholarship opportunities, and a well-known co-operative education. UW has a Game Development and CTRL-A club which interests me a lot. Overall, I believe that UW has many promising benefits to offer and that UW is where I'll be able to achieve my goal.

Why not discuss your educational goal more? For example, what type of software developer are you expecting to become? I think it might be helpful to state your objective in a more concrete way. You could synthesize your interest in this program. Expressions such as "Other reasons why I'm applying to UW" are wasting your word limit.

You properly address the educational goals and interest in the chosen program. However, your reasons for choosing Waterloo are not very convincing due to the generalized nature of your presentation. These references are not Waterloo specific in terms of their academic offerings and facilities. Your specific discussion of the extracurricular reasons for choosing the university should also be applied to the academic reasons for your choice. Discuss specific course offerings and academic organizations that you can benefit from. Talk about how you will develop your skills in their computer lab. Discuss any overseas scholarship opportunities you look forward to applying for. Internship programs and employment opportunities are also interesting aspects to present in this discussion. Any information that shows a specific familiarity with the university, the department, and the training facilities will definitely help enhance your statement. Revise the last part of your response so that you can meet the maximum word count. Preserve the first part of your response as it is useful and appropriate for the essay.